Seinfeld's second season features a delicious skit in which George does what millions consider & few try: He chews out his boss. 

"You think you’re an important man?," George shouts. "You are a laughing stock. a joke…You have no brains, no ability, nothing."

 The source of George's courage? He is quitting. Soon regretful, he sneaks back into a staff meeting the following Monday and tries for mercy.

 "I was just kidding," he tells the boss. No dice.

   This scenario is so endemic to relationships that it is happening right now with millions. Half of a couple explodes…for the 'nth time. The other half takes it for the 'nth time until one day they don't.

   Soon, the angry one regrets it, seeks mercy but makes George's mistake: Pretends for the 'nth time it was "nothing." 

   Should mercy requests always be granted? The Christian answer is often yes. The human answer is often otherwise.

   It takes time for children to learn remorse. Some adults never do. They beg for mercy & are outraged when it is withheld. Like George, they claim, "I didn't mean it."

   Remorse makes healing possible. When Remorse leaves the room, he takes Mercy with him.

   We need jobs. We need relationships. 

   Yet, caregivers dealing with a hard bosses & leaders dealing with difficult staff think in binary terms: explode or stuff their feelings.

   We sell off pieces of our soul at work & home stuck in a dangerous mindset: "I'm right. You are wrong. That's it."

   The idea of offering the benefit of a doubt is foreign to these beings. 

   Among the most important things I learned from dear friend Tracy Wimberly is the concept of "Both/And". There are always additional choices. 

  How much of America's internal strife is rooted in thinking there are only two answers, one right, one wrong? Is that why the chorus of people who say "Our country is so divided" keeps growing louder?  

-Erie Chapman

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