Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that crushed it.  – Mark Twain

   Thousands of marvelous quotes are attributed to Mark Twain. I think the one  above is among his finest. The violet will shed her aroma on the one who crushes her to death. She does this involuntarily because she must. Her beauty requires it.
   For us to spread the aroma of our forgiveness on our enemies, we must make a hard and conscious choice.
   One of the hardest blows to the human condition is betrayal. We have all experienced broken trust. A dear friend of mine is dealing with this now as his wife of sixteen years leaves their home for another man. Their children watch their mother turn her back on them and wonder what they have done to provoke such an attack on their family. What is the role of foregiveness?
   Betrayals occur with such frequency that they are the stuff of daily soap operas. But the real life experience is deeply painful. And there are harder blows than an errant spouse. Recently, I heard the story of a mother whose innocent son was mistakenly shot in a drive-by shooting. What is she to think about the killer?… 

   In spite of the Christian teaching on forgiving our enemies, the vast majority of people would respond to a tragedy like this not with love but with hatred. Revenge hangs heavy on the human condition. It requires enormous courage and deep grace to forgive – to break the bonds of this chain.    The mother of the slain son went far beyond anything I could imagine. Her son was seventeen at the time of the shooting. His killer was also seventeen. Caught, he was tried as an adult, convicted and sentenced to life in prison.
   Every month, this man who killed receives an unusual visitor. It is the the mother of his victim. She brings him cookies and the flower of her love. She has forgiven him not only with her mouth but with her actions. She knows his remorse and regret and she absorbs that with him, offering the fragrance of her forgiveness.
   Is this what we mean by love? This mother is certainly a shinning example worthy, some might say, of some kind of sainthood.

  But is this an isolated story? From Liverpool, England comes a second harrowing report. Anthony Walker, a kind and gifted eighteen year old was murdered in 2005 by two men who hated the color of his skin. When asked by a reporter how she felt about the men convicted of killing her son, Gee Walker (left) Anthony’s grief-striken mother, said: “Do I forgive them? At the point of death Jesus said, ‘I forgive them
because they do not know what they do’. I have got to forgive them. I
still forgive them."
   If these two mothers can forgive their son’s killers, what are we called to do in our everyday lives? Caregivers carry enough challenges. To ask them to forgive the many people who may be unkind to them across a week may seem like too big a request.
  Yet there is a surprise in all of this.
  Forgiveness brings not only relief, but grace. Consider the burdern of hatred and the poison of revengeful thinking. What does this do to the heart of the one who hates? The women who forgave her son’s killers find that they live with love and grace. They celebrate the sons they had and now seeks to do the unthinkable: to spread the fragrance of their love to the men who crushed the lives of their sons.
   The caregiver who forgives, in her or his heart, the angry patient, the rude family member, the inconsiderate supervisor, is the one who moves through the world with a lighter and more loving heart. The forgiving caregiver frees themselves of the burden of hostility.

Love’s Atomic Power:   In 1905, one of the great geniuses of history discovered the formula for the physics of energy. Einstein extrapolated his theory from his understanding that every object, inanimate or otherwise, contained enormous reserves of energy that had the potential to release quantum amounts of power.
   Here in the 21st century, we have the chance to make an equally important discovery. More powerful than e=mc2 is the discovery that l=hc2. Love is the power of humanity multiplied by compassion squared. The compassion of forgiveness releases an explosion of love’s energy through
us, an energy which is healing for those who give as well as those who receive. This is formula of Jesus, the greatest genius of Love the world has ever seen.

Meditation & Reflection:   Before the sun sets on this day, find someone to forgive. Begin by forgiving yourself for something. Then forgive the other starting in your heart. Let the voice of forgiveness speak through you. There is no question that other voices will speak against love. The dark angel within you will call you a fool for considering kindness toward an enemy. "Why should you forgive him or her?" the voice will scream. "Look what they did to you. If you forgive, you will be endorsing bad behavior, won’t you?"
   And in this last question comes one of the other learnings about forgiveness. To forgive does not mean to approve. Each of us must take responsibility for the ways we break trust with others. Forgiveness begins by taking responsibility for our own mistakes and then letting go of shame and revenge.
   To err is human. To err against another is also human. To seek revenge is to hate. To forgive is to love. Forgiveness is an act of grace not of pity. And forgiveness grows a garden full of violets whose fragrance heals the hearts of lovers.

-Erie Chapman