
In Boston for the Thanksgiving holiday, I was struck, as I have been before, by the contrast in culture between north easterners and southerners. The "hellos" I offered walking cold and windy streets were often ignored. Other friendly gestures, common in the south, were greeted with surprise or disdain.
"It’s a very different culture from Nashville," my Florentine son-in-law pointed out to me. I was interested by this insight on one region of American culture offered by a foreigner from sunny Tuscany. "If you buck the culture here, you’re likely to be disappointed and viewed with suspicion," he said….
Although I prefer the friendliness of the south, I can’t say that one
culture is better than another. Real love, of course, is found at a
deeper level than surface "hellos." But I can say that there’s nothing
like being in another culture to appreciate the power of peer pressure. This energy also shows itself in the context of caregiving.
In early 1998, I was recruited to interview for a position as head of a Rhode Island-based hospital 
system. When I entered the lobby of its flagship hospital, the receptionist greeted me with a surliness I’ve rarely seen in the south. "Yeah, whaddya want?" she growled at me after she cut off a person on the phone by shouting, "Hey, ya called the wrong hospital, mister."
And that’s what I found myself thinking: that I had walked into the wrong hospital for the kind of work I wanted to do. Yet, that hospital has a sterling reputation for first rate medical care, research, and teaching excellence. Who am I to say their culture is better or worse than the south, mid-west, or east?
I don’t think most easterners are the least bit offended by behavior that strikes me as gruff. It’s difficult to be offended by something that is customary. Similarly, I have seen plenty of cruel behavior from people who smile sweetly.
The hope that lives in the work of Radical Loving Care is that organizational cultures can be developed that will recognize each of us as carrying the spark of the divine. Although so many healthcare executives view the idea of loving care with deep skepticism, first line caregivers and patients do not. All patients and all caregivers want loving care. Yet many executives seem to doubt this desire among they people they lead. After all, it would take hard work and a brighter mindset for them to love the staff that is out on the floors caring for the poor and vulnerable.
The issue in caregiving is not about which part of the country has the "nicest" culture. The core question is which leaders can nurture in their charities or hospitals a commitment to live Love, regardless of which part of America they inhabit.
-Erie Chapman

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