Journal of Sacred Work

Day 238 – How Much Longer?

"There is a region in the experience of pain where the certainty of alleviation often permits superhuman endurance." – from Darkness Visible by William Styron (below)

   How often have we found ourselves in the middle of a painful treatment? The person administering the treatment, whether doctor, dentist, nurse of therapist, doesn't want us to be in pain. Yet, for some reason, they often remain silent until we beg them to tell us: "How much longer?"Styron.william   The reason for caregiver silence may sometimes be that it hasn't occurred to the treating professional how incredibly important it is for the sufferer to know (if at all possible) when the pain will end. Suffering requires endurance. Where do we find the energy to fuel this endurance? 
   Our energy to endure flows from hope.
   Imagine if we thought the pain would never end. "it is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul," Stryon writes. He should know. Styron, the author of such powerful novels as Sophie's Choice and The Confessions of Nat Turner, experienced terrific bouts of Type II Bipolar disease, characterized by swings between high energy and severe, debilitating depression. He writes that during his depression back in 1985 no one could answer the big question for him: "How much longer?" As a result, his depression worsened and he entered a period which he describes as "despair beyond despair."
   Caregivers hold the great power to give the gift of hope to those who suffer. They need to recognize their power and use it. This doesn't mean they must guarantee a cure. Instead, they can, through their healing presence, share the Love that forms the basis from which hope springs.
   One of the things that dilutes hope is abandonment. Pain isolates his victims. Caregivers can ease this isolation by joining patients on their journey. 
   You have no doubt delivered the gift of hope many times to your patients. When you have, perhaps you have experienced a particular healing effect on the face of your patient that can partly be described in two important words: relief and gratitude. 
   These are two of the rewards for underpaid caregivers. For many caregivers, these rewards represent riches beyond measure.

-Erie Chapman   
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3 responses to “Day 238 – How Much Longer?”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Recently, I spent a little time with someone who feels trapped in a box of anger, frustration, and resentment that is pushing out at the sides, wanting desperately a release from emotional pain. Initially, I fell into the trap of my inadequacies, in how I responded. When I asked a question it was met with, “Liz, don’t try your psychology on me!” When I offered a suggestion, “No, no, no, I just need to vent!!!” When words cut into my flesh I felt a spark of defensiveness but I did not want to war. So, I decided to zip my lips and I began to listen. Slowly I accompanied this person on a descent into darkness, into that deeper level that lies beneath the surface of all. Beyond all the noise, the talk, little dramas and chaos, present with intense feelings of pain. It is a difficult space to be in, where there are no answers or solutions, just raw, honest truth. As I reflect back, I do believe this time together brought us closer and may have offered a little release from the pain. As you say, Love offers the light of hope and I hold a fervent intention of Love in my heart.
    “Hope” is the thing with feathers – that perches in the soul- and sings the tune without the words – and never stops – at all.” ~Emily Dickinson

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  2. Jerald Smith Avatar
    Jerald Smith

    It happens often. It happened yesterday. Before I left her room, I asked, “What else can I do for you?” “You’ve already done it just by being here,” she said. What I had done was mostly “be.” Presence is power(ful). Thank you, (and Liz) for your posts.
    Jerald

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  3. Victoria Facey Avatar
    Victoria Facey

    I don’t clearly understand the terminology for bi-polar, but it sounds like a prison sentence: you’re trapped until you can find the open door. However, I have a better idea of what it does to you. I bring this up because I have a close relative who I think may have this disorder. My initial reaction to their behavior was that they were going through a bout of depression; but two years later, I feel as though I’m losing the relationship that I once valued. With reading from Liz and Jerald, perhaps the best gift I can offer is to simply be with this person and give my time and support.
    Erie, the topics that you share are always timely and valuable. Thank you for today’s…

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