I don't believe in the devil. But, it is clear our lives are flooded with fire-breathing dragons.

   The point of vacations and doing things like swimming in the ocean is partly to bring relief from pressures that often poison moments we could be celebrating.

   In fact, why do we so often let our worst thoughts and fears hound us?

   Perhaps, we lose perspective. Certainly, we stoke fires of resentment that often burn us more than the do the person we may dislike.

    A relative of mine is terrified of her supervisor. She dreads each day of work, not because of the job, but because she suffers with a bad supervisor.

   This boss is a demon in Jean's life.  She  follows her home every night, has dinner with her, follows her into bed, and wakes up with her in the morning.

   That's because Jean has invited her demon into her thoughts. In essence, she feeds the very dragon she wishes to banish by calling up her image and imagining the worst will continue. 

   All of this is a particular kind of truth for Jean. None of it is solved by her telling herself not to think about her troubles.

   I only know a few ways to deal with this. They don't always help, but I prefer them to suffering.

   Seven or eight years ago, I found myself increasingly overwrought by things I thought an old colleague was doing to ruin me in my work. I began to plot a range of attacks and counter-attacks. 

   Out of my legal training, I constructed a series of tactics around a single strategy – to conquer this "demon."

   Meanwhile, I found myself sickened and uneasy in his presence. Worse, I allowed him to poison my thoughts when I was out of his presence.

   One day, I realized i had failed to use one particular approach. I called him, apologized for my mistrust, and suggested we rebuild our relationship.

   To my surprise, he not only agreed, but was relieved by my offer. Our relationship was transformed.

   Best of all, I realized my anger had ebbed. I felt much better than if I had "defeated" him.

   That dragon was gone. Not because I slayed him but because I re-imagined him into someone essentially good-hearted and well meaning. 

   He was not nearly as "bad" as I had thought. Many things I had interpreted as slights and undercutting were, in his mind, efforts he was making to help and support.

   The sky in the photo above might look threatening. The ocean angry. I may look tense.

   In fact, I love the shape of that sky. Swimming in the swirling ocean was energizing. The whole experience made me feel more alive. 

   We can let fear determine our view of life. Or, we can choose Love. I have to remind myself of this every day.

-Erie Chapman

Photograph – Self-protrait – Ocean – copyright erie chapman 2012