"The master spoke to you from eternity but [you] have understood him according to time." – a follower of Meister Eckhart

10723   The ultimate existential issues are time and consciousness. Inside these notions lives our sense of Love and how we exist.

   Time, Eckhart suggests, is a trick. I think reality is an even bigger one. Home becomes an idea even more than a place.

   Rumi wrote: "A man goes to sleep in the town where he has always lived, and he dreams he's living in another town.

   "In the dream, he doesn't remember the town he's sleeping in his bed in. He believes the reality of the dream town.

   "The world is that kind of sleep."

   Recently, a friend shared that her adult grandson had returned to Columbus to visit his parents who had moved from his childhood home. "What do you do when you come home and home isn't there anymore?" he wrote. 

   That's how I feel when I return to my childhood neighborhood where I played with my friend Jill (left.) The place was dear to me yet I can no longer claim it as home. 

   It has also been a decade since I left the buildings where I spent twelve of the most intense years of my life. Riverside Methodist Hospital is a gigantic and magnificent place of healing. I served as President & CEO from 1983-1995.

   Those were years of magnificent success. Now I walk the same halls anonymous, looking for the footprints of the people who once walked with me.

   "…though we seem to be sleeping, there is an inner wakefulness that directs [our] dream and that will eventually startle us back to the truth of who we are." (Rumi)

   Along one corridor of the hospital a woman approached me. "May I help you find your way?" she asked. 

   I recognized her. She was and still is a nurse in obstetrics.  

   "Debbie? It's Erie Chapman." She put her hands to her face as if she had seen a ghost.

   "How wonderful to see you!" she said. "I wish you had never left. You were so good to all of us – such a fine leader."

   I had found my way home – and to "the truth of who we are."

-Erie Chapman

Photograph: Jill & Chip, 1951 – by Erie Chapman, Jr.

5 responses to “Days 175-179 “…the house you never left.””

  1. Cheri Cancelliere Avatar

    This is such a beautiful reflection, Erie, about the truth of where home really is. It’s not a place in time, but a place in our hearts. I think we will always have the sense of being restless wanderers in this life because as C. S. Lewis said, “You were created for another world!”

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  2. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Erie, I love your opening quote by Meister Eckhart. I struggle with fully accepting that home is the source of our being; Love.
    Our memories are so vivid of our formative years. Perhaps, that is because we were completely present and embodied in our experiences and unencumbered by the expectations of others that come later.
    I recall the trauma of leaving my childhood home at age 15. Significant for me was that our family suddenly split apart, as four of my older siblings stayed behind. After a year of struggling, I began to settle in and found that I loved the beauty of Vermont. When my parents moved to CA I was more open to a new experience. After a year without work, my parents returned to Vermont and I stayed to continue college. I always intended to return home. Sometimes that desire is really compelling. I wonder if it has anything to do with the various stages of our lives?
    Thank you for sharing your poignant experience with us, Erie as well as your insights that lead us home to your illuminating essence.

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  3. Terry Chapman Avatar
    Terry Chapman

    Whenever I traveled home from MA,as a vigorous senior,for many years to visit my brother in suburban Maryland, I would occasionally swing by our family home in Takoma Park where I spent most of my waking teen aged hours on sports,girls, and family events. I loved our home and all its suburban trappings!
    One time as I paused, sitting in my car across the street from our old home, the current resident, a business-like middle aged woman, briskly walked out the front gate and our eyes met. What to say? Feeling like I was a tresspasser into my own earlier life I got out of my car; walked toward her and managed, “used to live here and wondered if I could take a look?” She said, “sure” but after I had taken a few precious moments soaking up good old memories, and tried to tell her what her kindness had met,we never really connected our life journeys.
    There were just too many unshared experiences to leap in one simple meeting, so we smiled, parted, and pursued our separate lives. But that brief sharing of place is remembered fondly.

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  4. Mike Taylor Avatar
    Mike Taylor

    when you departed, VISION, left also. Magnificent buildings full of caring and needing people, but the light and vision that permeated the organization are no longer present.
    You were a fountain of new ideas and innovation!

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  5. Erie Chapman Foundation Avatar

    Thank you Cheri, Liz, Terry & Mike for you wonderful comments. Cheri, the C.S. Lewis is terrific. Liz, your always-kind observations and reactions are things I treasure. Terry, thank you for recounting your own encounter with childhood memory in the home you recall so fondly. Mike, THANK YOU for your incredibly kind comments. At the same time I am saddened by any weakening of the vision we put in place.

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