The following reflection contains a few pearls of wisdom gleaned from Fr. Richard Rohr’s book “Falling Upwards” as well as the wisdom from other spiritual readings along the way.
As children we are naturally egocentric and believe that we are the center of the universe. In the first half of life our task is to develop our unique identity. We learn that in this world success is measured by being the best so we strive to achieve, accomplish, and set goals to reach the top.
We grow into adulthood, work hard to establish our careers, settle in, maybe get married and have a family. We learn to define ourselves through differentiation. Our minds label and categorize and we make judgments that determine our likes and preferences. Our preferences create emotional expectations and it has been said that “an expectation is a resentment waiting to happen.” Our thoughts solidify in black and white terms, and the either or of dualism.
Through the years, we become very attached to the identity we have created for ourselves. The problem is that we must constantly be on guard to defend and protect our carefully crafted persona in our desire to be loved and accepted. We are afraid that if people knew "the real us" they would no longer love us.
Richard Rohr explains that universally we are all addicted to our ingrained ways of thinking. Basically, we want to get our needs met, we all have our fears, hurts, biases, limits and blind spots. The truth is we are often our own worst enemy. Yet, Erie offered us another possibility in his powerful essay, "Days 271-275 Stop Beating Yourself Up!-The Art of Self-Kindness."
As we move through our days we inevitably experience the heartache of loss as our outer shell begins to crack. The falling away can create openings, as well as angst, as we confront our shadows and are humbled by our powerlessness.
We begin to free ourselves from the non-essentials and focus instead on what really matters. Our world view shifts from an all or nothing mentality to a both/and perspective. We realize that expectations cause unhappiness and so we loosen our grip on our idealized notions. We honor all aspects of ourselves, our traditions and begin to live in communion.
In this second half of life, we explore the deeper meaning of our lives. Grace opens into the mystery of paradox, ambiguity and unknowing with new awareness and faith. For as Fr. Rohr affirms, we are being guided by the One who believes in us, knows us better than we know ourselves, and loves us so much more.
When in the soul of the serene disciple
With no more Fathers to imitate
Poverty is a success,
It is a small thing to say the roof is gone:
He has not even a house.
Stars, as well as friends,
Are angry with the noble ruin.
Saints depart in several directions.
Be still:
There is no longer any need of comment.
It was a lucky wind
That blew away his halo with his cares,
A lucky sea that drowned his reputation.
Here you will find
Neither a proverb nor a memorandum.
There are no ways,
No methods to admire
Where poverty is no achievement.
His God lives in his emptiness like an affliction.
What choice remains?
Well, to be ordinary is not a choice:
It is the usual freedom
Of men without visions.
By Thomas Merton
Offered by Liz Sorensen Wessel
Mandala by ~liz
Journal of Sacred Work 
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