"…we're tribal by nature. Tribes today aren't the same as tribes thousands of years ago: It isn't just religious tribes or ethnic tribes now: It's sports fans, it's communities, it's geography." – Peter Guber

   It is hard to admit & embarrassing to confess, but here it is: I covet "Likes" on Facebook the way a politician covets votes. When someone posts a comment it is an extra affirmation. 

   We are not supposed to be that vain. Adults are expected to be so anchored, so fastened to ideals & so centered, that applause should not matter.

   Yet, we also want to be in tune with our clan. So when people click that strange "Like" button I feel honored as a tribe member. We are not alone in that. Entrepreneurs, entertainers & companies also beg us to "Like" them because "likes" translate into dollars. For the rest of us, it is simply a currency of affirmation.

   Of course, billions belong to Facebook. Many deny interest. "I don't waste time on silliness, they say." Most are lying – although there is plenty of silliness. One acquaintance informs his "friends" (another new verb – to friend someone) crucial data like "Just left for the gym," (later) "sweated like Rocky" (still later) "just finished my shower." 

   "We're like monkeys," my friend, distinguished poet Claire Bateman wrote me. "We need to chatter back and forth. 

   Claire is right. Clearly, relationships, whether among caregivers, friends or family, are central to our existence. Facebook is one avenue to connect with our tribe & actually a good way to encounter childhood friends & to stay current with others.

  Interestingly, there is an ethos to the Facebook culture. If someone "likes" something you post you had better "like" something they post or you may never see their name again. Beware of politics. As a result, most posts, depending on your "friends" are bland as pablum.

   Obviously, our life worth does not depend on our "Like" count. This is just Facebook, not the life & death world of caregiving.

   Still, it is encouraging when someone slides their cursor over & clicks that little button that tells you they appreciated what you posted.

   Imagine if patients, caregivers & leaders could offer such quick affirmation. In fact, they already can.  

-Erie Chapman