Journal of Sacred Work

Days 181-185 – How Can We Make a Passing Precious?

  Mom - final days Long ago, attending my first funeral, I encountered a surprise. Although the deceased lived a long & successful life the best anyone could say was, "He was a good fellow."

   Not a bad summary, of course, but could not anyone describe how precious this man had been to them?

   The minister recited the usual obituary list of clubs & hobbies & churchgoing (& elicited the only chuckle with an attendance reminder.) That was it. 

   This is not about ego. The dead man could not care. It is about love. When we dismiss a rich life with poor words we steal meaning from ourselves. 

   When we strive to remember what any other life has meant we breathe meaning into "precious" – one of our finest adjectives. That is how family & friends recall my mother – as someone they hold in their hearts as precious. 

   Since everyone seeks meaning, doing a more work to honor the deceased tells us how our own life matters. We define precious by how we celebrate others. 

   Although life's meaning is rarely defined by funeral orations it is surely a time when Love calls us to reflect with respect. If you cannot write, paint a picture honoring the deceased, create a dance, assemble a scrapbook, compose some music & follow the annual Jewish tradition of honoring each who has passed away over the year. Best of all, let the life of the deceased inform your own so that the departed lives on through you. 

 Make the life that has left as precious as the life that remains – yours. 

-Erie Chapman

Photograph by Erie: Mom at 105, (final days.)

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3 responses to “Days 181-185 – How Can We Make a Passing Precious?”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Your post is very meaningful, Erie. Interestingly. I was sifting through my own reflections yesterday and this seems in sync with your message as well as the loving remembrance of your precious mom.
    I thought to share it as a bookend of sorts and I hope this is not too presumptuous of me.
    “As we rode along the winding route towards home, emotions stirred in anticipation of gatherings with family and friends. The joy of seeing loved ones and the sorrow of missing those who are no longer here. The poignancy of life’s fleeting nature enhances our appreciation of how precious the gift.
    Remembrances of our mothers wove its way into the conversation. As he spoke about his mom I knew we had moved into a sacred realm. I received the blessing of bearing witness to a deeply meaningful testimony. He spoke of the existential vortex one experiences with the death of their mom. Thoughts such as, “did I measure up in the eyes of my mother? Am I the person she hoped I would be?” All the memories we cherish and the accompanying wisdom that flows from self-examination.
    In our continual turning with the seasons of life, the extraneous begins to fall away. The faults we find in each other and in ourselves, the importance of who is right and who is wrong seem to lose power as pain and hurts fades into forgiveness.
    What is left is our essence; a brilliance that is always there but obscure from our awareness until we remember that what matters is our love for one another.”
    Erie, I am grateful for the way, you enrich the lives of so many (including mine). Your words ripple out to bless others into eternity.

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  2. Ann Chapman Debes Avatar
    Ann Chapman Debes

    Lovely, Chip.

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  3. Stephen Pariser Avatar
    Stephen Pariser

    Erie, thanks for sharing your message. Very meaningful.

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