“Everywhere I looked, hope existed – but only as some kind of green shoot in the midst of struggle. It was a theological concept, not a spiritual practice. Hope, I began to realize, was not a state of life. It was at best a gift of life.”
                                                                                                                                                                                             ― Joan Chittister

As we move through the various stages of life or in my case the second half of life, we naturally begin a life review. Overall, I am hopeful that the good I have offered outweighs my lapses in consciousness. I confess there are a few painful remembrances that linger still. My greatest sin was a time of extreme exhaustion that left me in a trance like state and I did not stop to check on a someone in need. I will never know the outcome of that person’s fate and I was not even aware of my transgression until a long, long time after when I suddenly awakened to this realization.

Yesterday morning, I left for a meeting that as being held in Los Angeles. I was running a few minutes late and I anticipated the traffic would be bad. The GPS guided me unexpectedly to an alternate route but I decided to follow its lead. As I turned the corner of Chapman Ave. I passed a homeless man who was half slumped over and he looked very ill. Another fellow in a wide brimmed straw hat was walking nearby and would be passing by him. I looked in my rear-view mirror, he appeared to have stopped to check on him but I was uncertain if he really had or if it was an illusion of hopefulness.

I pulled onto a side street and called 911. I reported that there was a man in distress and the dispatcher inquired if I was with him. I said no, I was driving in my car and he kindly connected me to my neighborhood fire station, which literally just two blocks away. A female dispatcher picked up and I reported my observations that the man seemed very ill. She asked if I had stopped with a tone of judgement in her voice. I said no I was driving by when I spotted him. She said, "Okay, we will dispatch someone now." I thanked her and we hung up. 

 A bit rattled, I resumed my drive and inadvertently missed my turn and was taken out of my way. Annoyed I blamed the GPS for taking me off track and back to my starting place and I let her know with an unkind word or two.

It was not until I began to reflect on my experience that I realized my perceived inconvenience was a blessing in disguise. Perhaps, the invisible, intangible energy of Love had guided me off my normal path for a purpose. Although I wish I could tell you, as a Good Samaritan and I picked the poor man up and took him to St. Joseph Hospital but I did not.

Instead, I received a redemptive message of hope; do not pass by a person in need without attempting to assist in some big or small way. This is how I strive to live my life, albeit imperfectly, I am learning to forgive myself and to become receptive to the gift of Love's unconditional forgiveness in return. 

Blessing of Hope

So may we know
the hope
that is not just
for someday
but for this day—
here, now,
in this moment
that opens to us:

hope not made
of wishes
but of substance,

hope made of sinew
and muscle
and bone,

hope that has breath
and a beatng heart,

hope that will not
keep quiet
and be polite,

hope that knows
how to holler
when it is called for,

hope that knows
how to sing
when there seems
little cause,

hope that raises us
from the dead—

not someday
but this day,
every day,
again and
again and
again.

~Jan Richardson

Reflection by Liz Sorensen Wessel

Mandala Art by ~liz