It is a predictable rite among grandparents.  Someone brings out a picture of their grands. Like skilled gunslingers the others draw their cellphones & fire.

   I'm doing it here: "Look," I signal you, "There's me (9 years ago)  reading to my son's son (Miles) & my daughter's daughter." Then I wait for you to say, "Wow,  aren't they cute!" Before the sentence ends you draw your cell phone & show your pictures. 

   It is an enjoyable way for grandparents to find common ground & maybe to crow a bit.

   When I saw the recent picture (below) of Miles standing between my son & me a thought occurred: I show pictures of offspring. But I guarantee you that 15-year-old Miles is definitely not whipping out his cell phone & saying to his friends, "Hey, look at my grandpa & dad."

 This ritual of picture-sharing does not extend to teenagers. Is it because the elders have done the caregiving & feel proud whereas the kids have not done that yet? 

   If so, there may be a flaw in the ritual. I learned it thirty years ago from a friend. After I bragged about something my son had done he asked me, "Did you do those things or did he?" 

   "Him, of course," I stammered.

   "What if you said you were grateful rather than proud?" he asked.

   The message stayed with me & I pass it to you. It is tempting to take pride for successful offspring & easy to shift blame if the outcome was otherwise.

   A dear friend has two adult sons. One has turned out well. The other has often been imprisoned. 

   Love teaches us that gratitude in one case & grief in the other are more healing than grabbing credit or assigning blame. Imagine if leaders used the same principles with staff.  

-Erie Chapman