Here is one sentence never spoken by a depression sufferer: "I feel hopeful." Caregivers know a patient is recovering when they say, "I feel hopeful again."

   Having often been attacked by what Churchill called "the black dog of depression" it is astounding how effectively that beast can suck meaning from life.

   If you do not know what Churchill & I mean you are among the fortunate. We invite you, trained or not, to help others with the free (but expensive) gift of your compassion.

   It can be tricky. During one attack I sought out a dear friend because she had been a therapist. Instead of compassion, she worsened my state by saying dismissively, "I'm not good at dealing with that." 

   I hope she & you will understand better through Emily Dickinson's genius:

There's a certain Slant of light,
Winter Afternoons –
That oppresses, like the Heft
Of Cathedral Tunes –

   Have you ever danced with Darkness in the middle of the day? Seen that "certain slant" that chimes the news that darkness falls early in winter months?

   "Heavenly Hurt, it gives us," she wrote. "We can find no scar,/ But internal difference/ Where the meanings are."

  This references nothing momentary. Loss of meaning can cause loss of life.

   How do we help? When someone touches my shoulder, shows compassion through softened eyes or simply listens empathically it helps.

   When someone says, "You should be grateful" it hurts. I know I have no reason to be depressed & yet I am! That is even more depressing."

   It insults another's suffering to say, "We all have problems." It demeans personal uniqueness to say, "I understand."

   Depression is anger turned inward. Irritability causes the sufferer to drive away exactly those they need.

   Many avoid the depressed rather than offering the lifeline of their presence. 

When it comes, the Landscape listens –
Shadows – hold their breath –
When it goes, 'tis like the Distance
On the look of Death –

   "Life is so difficult when darkness covers your heart," Tracy Wimberly, R.N., once told me. Those words & how she said them showed I had been heard. A fleck of light flickered. In the distance I saw not Death but Hope. 

   Tracy shows us a way we can help others heal from this illness that shows "no scar."

-Erie Chapman  

Photograph "In Shadow" Erie 2020