The WORTH of Self Worth – Days 199-203

Value yourself so you can to value others.

"You've done a brilliant job," the board chair told me on a black sunny day in 1995. "Because of your leadership we have far exceeded expectations in every area."

We were sitting in the bright living room of my Columbus. Before me was the person upon whom my career depended most. As often happens, the chair's endorsement presaged a nightmare. My joyful career was dissolving in the air like a tablet of sunshine

Lurking in the chair's eyes was the ghost of bad news. He was the doctor who shocks you with: "You're in perfect health. In a moment you will die."

"Erie, it's been a fabulous 12 years," he said in the past tense. "You're an innovator, have led us to the top & the best leader I've ever met."

His eyes fell to the floor. My heart went with them. "It's time for a change," he pronounced.

"This is unfair," he confessed, "but you've been ambushed. Nothing to be done."

Unbeknown to him, he would also be ambushed; pushed out soon by another member.

Such injustices are so endemic to organizations & relationships that the cliche is, "Life is unfair."

Because this is about self worth, another chapter awaits.

As foretold in Beowulf, a worse fate came. Until that Sunday, I subconsciously thought self worth & career success were intertwined. I had forgotten the obvious: I did not "own" my job anymore then I owned my family (pictured.)

Hospitals are "kingdoms" & CEOs have royal powers. Every leader should appreciate that "firing" is a violent word. Termination can resemble homicide: Careers killed, homes lost, families destroyed, bankruptcies filed. Obviously, with over 11,000 staff & 2000 doctors at OhioHealth, the system I founded, I was responsible for firing as well as hiring.

The key question is not career loss. It is spiritual failure. Success had blessed me & would again. Yet, on that Sunday, a piece of my soul broke off & floated away. It took years to heal by discovering that core truth we know but I could not absorb: We are not our jobs.

Again, the problem is not in knowing that. It is finding humility before God & the graceful appreciation of life.

Others will define us. It is foolish to live by their definition.

Success lives in recognizing that no boss, spouse, friend, lover, patient, or company can take your self worth. Self-worth & self-love are feelings we truly own.

Here are words worth remembering from Maxime Lagacé: "Your self-worth grows when you fight for something you love."

-Erie Chapman

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Categories: Health Care, Meditations, Weblogs, www.eriechapmanfoundation.net

Tags: caregivers, Erie Chapman Foundation, firing as homicide, Self worth, self worth is the only thing we own, the strength of self worth

11 responses to “The WORTH of Self Worth – Days 199-203”

Judy Herendeen

July 18, 2022 at 2:23 pm

Powerful Erie. Thank you for sharing.

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Erie Chapman Foundation

July 18, 2022 at 6:16 pm

Thank YOU, dear Judy. I miss you. None of us “own” Riverside but we certainly own our memories. And YOU are one of the happiest

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Liz Wessel

July 18, 2022 at 10:10 pm

Thanks so much for sharing your experience although I can only imagine how painful it was for you at the time.
When we invest so much of us ourselves into the work that we do, it can become a huge part of our identity. Through the years I have really struggled with balancing work & personal life.
You offer such wisdom for us all to remember…
In conversation with newly hired caregivers, we encourage prioritizing family. When there is an upcoming event, to ask yourself, “is this a one time experience that can not be repeated?” If so, be sure not to miss it. I love that discerning question…
and yes I agree with readers, what a powerful message, Erie! “It is finding humility before God & the graceful appreciation of life.”
BTW, the photo of you and your beautiful family is wonderful!

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Sue Finefrock

July 19, 2022 at 2:22 pm

Well, you and Nancy are the two faces I cherish the most about Riverside. It was a heartbreaking time when the two of you were dismissed. They should have let us all vote. It would have been a different story. Thanks for being you.

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Kathy Grannan

July 19, 2022 at 5:38 pm

As much as I have loved working at Riverside, I have always felt there is one thing we do poorly, and that is firing people. When someone I have known and respected has been let go, the fashion in which we walk them out is harsh and damaging. So I have opted to write a letter to them remembering the good I saw them accomplish and the gifts I saw in them during their tenure. Your words of wisdom and your sharing how that experience affected you are so true. I believe we could take into consideration all the cya and safety concerns, put them together with a human touch acknowledging transition, and not leave good souls dangling in the wind like that. Had I known you personally, Erie, such a letter I would have written to you!!! You acknowledged each associate in a way that invited a full commitment to excellence and a strong sense of ownership in the organization. Those things stayed with me for all 43 years. In fact I just described some of those initiatives to a board meeting I am a member of the other day! So glad time has put that transition behind you; by your writings I see that you have emerged stronger and wiser. We are all the better for working with you.

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Julie Eckelman Long

July 19, 2022 at 7:45 pm

Thank you for these powerful words. I LOVED working for Riverside and that, as well as my upbringing, helped me realize my value. My self-worth was boosted to the heavens when I would see your kind, caring face. Always a smile, always knowing names, always a pat on the back. I realized that a workplace COULD be kind… and honest… and proud… and family. I appreciate you, I appreciate the career I had, and I appreciate life. God Bless you for being such a GOOD man!

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Erie Chapman

July 20, 2022 at 10:37 pm

Deep thanks to you, dear Liz. So glad this has never happened to you. But if it did I know you would handle it with grace, balance and humility!

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Erie Chapman

July 20, 2022 at 10:40 pm

Thank you so very much, dear Sue. So glad you and I both had the chance of working together at that special time in Riverside’s history. Be well.

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erie chapman

July 22, 2022 at 11:24 am

You eloquent and sincere affirmation is a profound and loving gift, dear Julie. The idea that my presence could have such a positive impact on you make the whole notion of Radical Loving Care even more meaningful.
I do not know if I am a “Good Man.” More accurately, I am an ordinary and flawed who tries to do good things. Glad this had a good impact on you and THANK YOU AGAIN, for your kindness in passing along your appreciation…to think, after all these years. What a sweet spirit you are!

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erie chapman

July 22, 2022 at 11:28 am

What a marvelous post, Kathy!! I so wish we could have become even better acquainted during our shared time at RMH. YES. I agree about terminations being so often down poorly. It happens because too many firings are “executions.” Perhaps, it is the leaders who are wearing the blindfolds not the victims. If they took them off they would see before them a human being who needs support and compassion even as they are asked to leave. I teach this in my consulting practice and through my book, Radical Loving Care. Thank you again!

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Liz Wessel

July 24, 2022 at 11:16 pm

Hmmnn..I was laid off from a leadership position quite early in my career. My next job was make home visits again. It was a painful experience, and although I could not imagine it at the time… something better was waiting for me.
I hope that was the xase for you too! I do know that you have made a difference in the lives of countless caregivers, patients and families through your long and distinguished career and visionary leadership.

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