“That’s so you,” is a catchy tag line that runs through a widely played TV commercial. Yet that is exactly what I thought of when I read this entry. By that I mean: How very like a fabulous leader and human being to post this article that suggests one can reframe a critical incident in a health care providers life. That’s so you to send a message of reframing and forgiveness rather than one of shaming or blame. I hope that everyone in healthcare gets a chance to read this and truly reflect on it. The “it” doesn’t have to be a mistake that took someone’s life, it could be a situation that you’ve always wished you could have had a “do over” for. Chip, thanks for still being a fabulous leader!

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Erie, thanks for sharing these thoughts on mistakes, our perceptions and how we might interpret them. So many different thoughts and experiences are surfacing for me. I wholeheartedly agree, often when an adverse event occurs involving a patient/family acknowledging the situation, apologizing makes a big difference especially if you have a trusting relationship. Most often people want to know, what are you going to do to ensure this situation is corrected so that no one else will have this happen to them.
On a personal note, when caring for loved ones at end of life, family members do the very best that they can to care for their loved one. Yet, after the person dies at times family members may agonize as they go over the last days, wondering, if only I did this…or made that decision their loved one would still be alive. A colleague recently shared the memory of her moms last day on this earthly realm. She mistakenly thought she had killed her mom because she gave her the ordered small dose of morphine for discomfort as she was dying. I hope I helped her to see that she was providing comfort, not killing her mom. I was grateful that she tearfully shared those memories rather than keeping them locked inside and suffering with these irrational thoughts when she was a loving daughter and caregiver. She gave her mom the greatest gift, to be able to remain at home surrounded in the love of her family in her final days. I hope I was able to help her reframe her experience into one of compassion, comfort and love.
I had a similar experience when my beloved brother died, reliving over and over the chain of events, even though I am a nurse, even though I was able to help ease the way of many dying patients and their families, living through my own situation I was caught up in my emotions and could not gain perspective. Even though I was there for him and helped cared for him and loved him. “Oh if I only did this, said that, did not say that…”So in a way perhaps being there for that nurse was an opprtunity for my own healing and a reframing as well. And for this I am grateful. Thank you.
Sending Prayers and love for all of us who may suffer because underneath our human frailties, be it misunderstandings, lashing out, hurtful words, anger, despair, sadness, or wondering if we could have saved someone, all that remains is love.

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