Journal of Sacred Work

Days 275-276 – Love Never Ends… & The Natural Order of Things

"Love never ends." – 1 Corinthians 13:8

   Both of my mother's younger sisters have passed away during the last year. "I was supposed to go first!" my mother told me defiantly.

   We think we know the "natural" order of things.  But, the length of our lives is in God's hands, not ours.

   Because of the things we are now able to do, we often believe we can alter the world. We can, quite literally, change the flow of a river. We can shorten the length of another's life by execution. And we have discovered medicines that delay death.

   In fact, we routinely refer to curative medicines as "life-saving." They are, in fact, only life-extending.

   Hospitals sometimes seem like places of alchemy - cauldron's where formulas to change the order of life are mixed and dispensed. For example, the lives of the elderly and the terminally ill are routinely extended with machinery most of us would never want used on us. Premature babies who would not have survived just a decade ago are now rescued and sent into the world – sometimes with permanent disabilities.

   What is the natural order of things? The more we think we can manage this "order" the more we are at risk for arrogance – for falling victim to the original sin of pride.

   Our ability to master a few of the elements of the world's energy makes us wonder if we might be able to manage all of it. It is now predicted that many of our children, grandchildren and great-grand children will live well past one hundred years old. Does this offer the illusion that we can truly defy death?

   For caregivers, the ability of science to solve many problems too often leaves a sense of failure when a patient actually dies. The natural order of things doesn't mean we shouldn't try to do our best. What it does mean is that our greatest victories are still quite small.

   What we need to recall is that God's Love is greater than all of our so-called victories combined. When we live this Love, we demonstrate our respect for Love's energy. We come to know that our job is not to change the course of nature but to live in concert with it.

   All who know my mother understand that she has caught the stream of Love's energy and lives that Love to this day. When her body passes from this earth, that love will remain.

   Here is the most important thing we need to remember every day: It is not our lives that never end. It is Love.

-Rev. Erie Chapman, J.D.   

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6 responses to “Days 275-276 – Love Never Ends… & The Natural Order of Things”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    The true measure of a life well lived is how well we have loved. There are so many opportunities to give ourselves over. Not necessarily in big ways but more in our willingness to stretch out of our comfort zones. As much as I expound my beliefs I find myself holding back and holding on. Yet, the high moments of my life are the times when I’ve opened to experience life without censorship.
    I can recall my oldest brother Phillip saying to me many years ago, “Energy can change but it can never die.” I’ve always carried that fascinating thought with me. Erie, I do believe that love never dies and that we are created in Love. Thank you for today’s gift.

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  2. Xavier Espinosa Avatar
    Xavier Espinosa

    I read once that Tennessee Williams on his deathbed said “I know people die, I just never thought it would happen to me” Woody Allen wrote “America is the only place where death is seen as an option” Growing up my mother taught us that death happens, people have to die. I started working in healthcare when I was 20 years old. Looking back at my experiences I marvel how at the ripe age of 24 I had seen more people die in one month than most people had experienced in their life. At first I viewed the occasion as a casual onlooker would, fascinated by the processes put into practice by the professionals with whom I worked. I was the passive rider on the bus, engaging only when asked to,looking out the window when a stop was requested to see where the passenger was exiting and wondering where their destination was located. The faces were unimportant, it was the ride that mattered.
    In due time as I worked with more of the health care team and became better acquainted with their personalities and shared the moment, I learned to understand the power of our presence at the end of our fellow human being’s life. Because I worked with a specific population I had the privilege of being present with many of the patients that were followed by the cadre of professionals that encompassed the organization. I slowly changed my perspective. Everyone had a story.
    A spiritualist taught me a combination of four words that were the catalyst for the from being the rider to wanting to step up and be a guide. The first word she gave me was “arcane” which she said referred to something that is known with specific importance to you. A seamstress know her threads, the strength, the way they work with the woof and the warp. The next word was “wisdom”- “this is not the learning”, she said, “but understanding what has been learned” The next word was “perpetual”- meaning “always replenishing, never empty, always full” And the last word was “soul”, sometimes a controversial word, but in this context she referred to it as “the source of greatest integrity” in every person.
    She went on to say that as I became more engaged in the work I was doing, it would become easier to enter into the Sacred because all my reactions, participation and ability to be of service to others would become easier because the light that I shared with the those I worked with came from “The Arcane Wisdom that I kept in my Perpetual Soul”. Every person had a face, every person was someone where they came from, every person had a story. These stories told by the patient, their family, the physicians, the nurses, the housekeepers, the technicians all flowed into my source of integrity, my soul. Their hopes,fears, loves and perspectives of death made me more intuitive, more sensitive, more alive.
    Because I worked with language, I would recommend to caregivers to avoid the use of the word “normal”. One mother who’s child was a dialysis patient commented that the word was too easily thrown at her when she would bring her ailing child to the doctor or when she voiced her concern to health professionals. “Oh, that’s normal” they would tell her. She said that she many times she wanted to yell at them- “don’t tell me that is normal, that is not normal for my child, he is not normal, he is sick!” Using the phrase “That is a natural progression of the disease” ” instead invites an opportunity to engage, to educate,to open, to share to,understand the grief to better understand the learning, to replenish the wisdom that encompasses the Sacred moment of the end of life.
    Normal is mundane, normal is nondescript, normal is requesting a stop and exiting. The Sacred invites us to stop being casual observers and to step up and walk alongside, to accompany and to listen to the stories. Everyone is someone where they come from, everyone has a story. Every one dies in their own arcane fashion- it’s natural.

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  3. Margot Phillips Avatar
    Margot Phillips

    Here is an Earth based chant I know, “There is no end to the circle, no end. There is no end to the circle, no end.” Simple but it reflects my deep belief in reincarnation, the idea that when the body dies, something carries on and eventually takes form again. The gateway between life and death is the same gateway we pass through from birth into life.
    I have a friend who works as a nurse in L and D and for a long time she also worked with seniors, she worked at both ends of life and it seemed natural to her.
    This has served as a deep inspiration to me in my work as a Home Health nurse, working almost exclusively with people in their 80’s and 90’s. They are facing death, making daily decisions about whether or not to prolong their lives with medical interventions. Many of the people I serve are mistrustful of the medical community because they think we will force them to stay alive no matter what. I attempt to assure them that we are here to serve them and their wishes, and filling out the POLST or the Advance Directive is one of the best ways to let us know. Most of the MD’s I work with don’t want to prolong someones life if they are ready to let go, but we are caught in a system that will often go for the heroic measures as a default. I am hopeful that with the POLST forms coming into use, we can minimize the times when we save someone who really wanted to die. Then we can use our amazing resources to heal for those who really want to continue living.
    When I lose a favorite patient, a friendor a relative, – I find peace knowing that life and death are a circle, there is no end, not really. Our love remains as you have mentioned so beautifully, and so does our soul.

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  4. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    From Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:
    I hold it true, whate’er befall;
    I feel it, when I sorrow most;
    ‘Tis better to have loved and lost
    Than never to have loved at all.

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  5. Victoria Facey Avatar
    Victoria Facey

    How true about the natural order of things; we have no hand in this (thankfully). Or, as my husband often says “it is what it is”. Love endures all.

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  6. Marily Avatar
    Marily

    Why is “Love” so important in our lives? Just because, it is the “Natural” order of things.
    It puts quality into service. Our words and actions amount to something and help other people.
    It puts maturity into character. The qualities of gifts and talents we share without love is nothing.
    It puts eternity into life. Love lasts, and what love does will last. Love is the greatest and does the greatest because “God is love” (1 John 4:8).

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