Jill chip  When I am very old and fall sick, I want you to take care of me. If I seem wizened and disoriented, there is something I want you to know.

   When I was the seven year-old in the photo, my dear childhood friend Jill Bloksgaard (nee Rutkin – a friend to this day) and I would cast a spell on our Schwinn bicycles that transformed them into horses. Draping a rope across the handle bars, we would mount our animals and shout "Giddyap" just like Hopalong Cassidy and the other cowboys who roamed the range of our 10" black and white television screens.

   After rounding the block a couple times, slapping our legs all the way as if they were horse's flanks, we would pull up at a neighbor's lawn, tie our horses to a palm tree, spread out gray blankets and light an imaginary fire. All along, we kept a close eye out for marauding bad guys. Periodically spotting one, we would blast away with our silver-barreled cap guns until all opponents were eliminated. 

  The danger thrwarted, we would say, "We better turn in for the night." Lying down beneath the California sun, we would pretend to sleep – sometimes for as long as thirty seconds.

   Who could sleep when cattle rustlers lurked nearby? We needed to be sure our cap guns were loaded.

   We needed to have as much fun as possible. And we did.

   If you were my caregiver, I would want you to know about the seven year-old cowboy and some of the other roles I have played – anything that you would help you understand that I am more than my troubled body.

   Inside every elderly patient (strangely and frequently described by caregivers as little as in, "That little old man") are the thousands of stories that make up that patient's life.

   Obviously, the elderly are so much more than the wrinkled bodies whose legs may not work and whose ears may have trouble making out our words. When we imagine the stories each person has within – their troubles and joys – we are so much more likely to treat them with love and respect.

   Absent that, we run the risk of diminishing these precious souls. The "little old man" may be left for hours on a gurney in a hallway staring up at fluorescent lights. The confused old woman who can't remember our name may have her call light ignored.

   You may hold memories of a childhood when you spoke to dolls or flew like a super-hero or played games with your friends up against dinner time.  When I can see the various lights in you, I find them in myself.

   I hope our caregivers will imagine our life stories when we are transformed, on any given day, from caregiver to patient. If they do, than we may journey together to that strange and loving land called Healing. 

   When you are very old and fall sick, Love will be with you and know your stories.

-Reverend Erie Chapman, J.D. 

9 responses to “Days 254-255 What I Want You to Know”

  1. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    Absolutely beautiful, Reverend Erie. I plan to share it with my nursing students today.

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  2. Maria Doglio Avatar
    Maria Doglio

    You were a magical kid Erie and you continue to be a magical adult that will carry you to be a very old man, filled with light. We are all much more than we think we are.

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  3. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    I love childhood photo of you and Jill, your story and the images they conjure. Yes, that childhood spirit of wonder travels with you, Erie. To learn a person’s story is a deeply humanizing experience and helps us to recognize the preciousness of the one before us. “When I see the various light in you, I find them in myself.” Now, how marvelously healing is that!

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  4. Holly Avatar
    Holly

    Beautiful,thank you. I am reminded of an experience I had while my Dad was in a nursing home. I often spent time talking with other residents. One of the residents enjoyed reading Tarot cards so another resident and I had our cards read. I was struck when she pulled a card that spoke about the feeling of boredom this resident was experiencing. It caused me to have one of those moments because I also know the feeling of boredom and experience it in my life as well. How could I not have realized these residents struggle with boredom? Maybe because of my unease in seeing the decline of their physical bodies and minds, I lost sight of the person who lives within the broken body.

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  5. candace nagle Avatar
    candace nagle

    You know, Erie, I think I encountered you and Jill out in the Black Hills when I was leading a Wagon Train across country to Oregon. You stopped to help us cross some dangerous bear territory.
    To be fully alive is to be all of the ages we have ever been. It is all there and ready to be called forth. Often, in people’s homes we can see old photographs from their childhoods. Pictures of long gone parents and siblings and of our dear patients when they were chubby toddlers. It is so heart beckoning.
    When I encounter a particularly gnarly elder, and my compassion is running out the door, I will call up an image of them as a 4 year old, because the mother in me cannot turn away a child in need. I often wonder at how people got from the innocence of a child to the sorrowful end they seem to be experiencing. Life takes its toll on so many and it is important for us to reach back through time and comfort their little scared selves. Listening to life stories can remind the person we are ministering to that they are much more than their illness and/or current circumstances. Listening to someone’s stories can actually restore them to wholeness.

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  6. erie chapman Avatar
    erie chapman

    Thanks to each of you for your reactions and comments. Candace. You are exactly RIGHT. I always wondered who that was in the second Conastoga Wagon and now Jill and I know that it was YOU!
    “To be fully alive is to be all of the ages we have ever been. It is all there and ready to be called forth. Often, in people’s homes we can see old photographs from their childhoods.” What a spectacular caregiver you must be! – erie

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  7. Jill Avatar
    Jill

    This is why I have always thought of you as my very, best friend (not oldest! LOL)in the whole world, even if we don’t see each other very much anymore, since we live so far apart. We will always have our wonderful childhood memories with us.

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  8. martha Avatar
    martha

    Oh how I wish this writing could be posted in hospital nurses stations across the country!! Because there is a story from every person lying in a hosptial bed and if caregivers could only have the time to listen or maybe TAKE the time to listen to them.
    Thank you, Erie for your writings that help us all to realize different outlook of lives through your thoughts.

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  9. Marily Avatar

    Our journey together everyday in that strange and loving land called Healing can be as fun and stress free times… just remembering our life stories, thank you Rev. Erie and everyone.

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