Tree and leaves    "The Beloved is gracious and merciful, allowing every soul free will to follow illusions or to choose Life…" – Praying With The Psalms

   It's 3 a.m. An exhausted mother who is also a practicing physician hears her baby cry once again. She has risen six times already. Should she choose to let her baby cry himself to sleep this time? Can she care for her patients the next morning if she's up all night caring for her baby?

   It's usually easy to make choices for others. Can we really make choices for ourselves in the way the above prayer suggests? 

   It's a question that has dogged every generation. When do we hold a rule breaker accountable? When do we decide that someone cannot be held responsible because of youth or mental illness?

   Society is designed to establish boundaries and enforce them. We need to be safe and we also need to be free.

   How we answer questions about free will determines our approach to both caregiving and life. When we see an obese patient, do we assume they lack will power? When a drug addict enters the emergency department, do we judge them"bad?"

   On the other hand, don't we have to take responsibility for things we do that harm others? How much of a defense is it to say, "I had no choice?"

   Of course, there is no simple answer. Early Calvinists believed in predestination. God had already determined our path and we had nothing to do with it. This view persists amid many to this day.

   Everyone loved comedian Flip Wilson's old routine in which he would commit some wrong and shout, "The Devil made me do it." Who wants to take responsibility when we can blame some force outside of us?

   I have spoken with people afflicted with schizophrenia. How are we to fasten society's bridle on them when they hear powerful voices telling them to break away, voices that seem as credible as any judge?

   What sanctions should society choose when adults break rules they may think are no longer relevant? An imperfect world cannot deliver perfect solutions.

   The answer may live in the half-light of life itself. We know that the river of Love flows through this world. Yet, it is so hard for us to trust that her sometimes swift current will bath us in spiritual safety.

   The world, with all its temptations, beckons. Strange to life is that what may look wrong can be right.

   Everyday, I drive down Rosa Parks Boulevard. Ms. Parks broke the law. Today, we honor her for her choice.

   Rules may tell a caregiver visiting hours are over. On occasion, Love may tell us to bend rules.

   The older I get, the less inclined I am to judge. For the world is flooded with confusing signals. 

   Love is always present. If only it were simple to see her clearly amid the world's shadows. 

   Fortunately, "Love is gracious and merciful."

-Reverend Erie Chapman

3 responses to “Days 258-260 – Choice?”

  1. candace nagle Avatar
    candace nagle

    Your post reminds me of a book written by Dawna Markova entitled “No Enemies Within” where she explores the creative process and entertains the question “What’s right about what’s wrong?”. I think this is a very wise question to explore when we are deeply entangled in judgements of ourselves or another. I try to remember this when my children make “poor” choices with the perspective of a person in their 30’s (as opposed to the perspective of a wise 50 something – ha!). Creativity is messy and life is a creative journey so why should I expect my children or patients to learn from my mistakes and pontificating wisdom? They are not living my life. They have their own stories and reasons. It is not comfortable to watch our loved ones or patients suffer. It is hard to trust the suffering in our lives or the lives of those we love and for whom we care. It is very challenging to look into the center of the chaos and ask what is right about what is wrong. But I think, when we can do so, the magic of meeting another person in the heart of his/her life can actually happen. That is when love can use anything for the good. Thanks, Erie, for the reminder to take responsibility, shift perspective, and look at things with new eyes.

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  2. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Each moment we have a choice, I pray that I am attentive, open, and receptive so that I choose Love over fear.

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  3. Marily Avatar

    Though life is really that strange, in these mass confusion, I am glad love is always there, gracious and merciful.

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