"Some of us may wander around looking lost, hovering like hungry ghosts; others will wear a satisfied smile, having briefly known the deep satisfaction reserved for those who've been carefully listened to." – Minton Sparks – Desperate Ransom (Thomas Nelson, 2007)

   My cousin Doug was dropped on his head within seconds of his birth. HIs subsequent retardation (the term used at the time) means he has walked a limited path through this world. 

   Because he has trouble articulating, Doug is rarely heard.

   It's worse for my cousin Ronnie Chapman (who entered this world the day before I did.) Because his mother caught German Measles during pregnancy, Ronnie was born deaf and mentally impaired.

   No one, even those who can sign with him, has listened much to Ronnie during the half-century he has been "institutionalized."

   There may be no greater affirmation, no higher compliment we can pay another, than to listen carefully to what is on their heart. We know this. But, we especially notice it when we are ill.

   Bad health brings acute vulnerability. Old age can do that too. So can any environment where we feel marginalized.

   The poor are often ignored. Who cares what convicted criminals have to say?

   But what about the rest of us?

   In our walk through the world, most of us gauge the value of our existence by how we are heard, as well as how we hear. Those who listen the most carefully often have their hearts broken when they are not heard themselves.

   I am notorious for interrupting others in mid-sentence, somehow thinking I have something crucial that must be spoken right now! Can't I at least be more polite?

   But, careful listening takes so much more than politeness. In fact, good manners have nothing to do with true listening.

   Compassion is the fine wine served by the heartful hearer. We love to be near those who listen to all the ways we express ourselves.

   Some of Liz Wessel's most eloquent language comes to us through her artwork. When people listen to my music, I want them to hear my spirit's expression. My friends Diana Gallaher, Andy Workum, Karen York and Tracy Wimberly heal hearts by the way they listen. 

   At the end of Desperate Ransom, famed story teller Minton Sparks writes: "…we might all tell our stories if someone would just hear us out, hear us with a kind ear until we feel safe enough to speak."

   We have the power to help others "feel safe" by offering to others the "kind ear." As we do this, we open Love's power to dissolve fear. 

   When I listen carefully to a writer as eloquent as is Sparks, I find that I "wear a satisfied smile." So will you if you read and hear her work. There, you will feel heard. 

-Erie Chapman

Photo – Book Cover from Desperate Ransom and DVD of the same name. www.amazon.com