Journal of Sacred Work

Days 63-64: “You Learn”

BlackbutterflywingsEssay by ~liz Sorensen Wessel

Life is change. The world spins around us. We whirl through our days immersed in the busyness of our lives, living and loving. In between the leaving to embrace the new, lies an interval of chaos.  

 This in between-ness flares in a mix of anticipation, worry, excitement, faith, doubt, insecurity, trust, anxiety, fear, and cynicism amid the awe of great potential and exciting possibilities. In the tearing down to recreate a viable ecosystem there are casualties; death and rebirth.  

 Emotions and reactive behaviors intensify as our familiar world starts to melt away and our instinct for survival kicks in. How we respond to the unfolding of events holds great significance to ourselves and to those around us.

 At the center of the storm is a still point. We must go there. Be open to receive. In quiet contemplation we can encounter a Loving presence that will guide us through every difficulty.

 Endings are painful and involve loss. To forge forward without pausing is an act of violence that dishonors human dignity. A necessary pause allows us time to reverence, acknowledge and affirm all that has been and to express our love and gratitude to others for their contributions. Why then don’t we take the time to do this? This is critical if we are to move forward in a spirit of wholeness.

 I am reminded of the old familiar saying that with every ending is a new beginning. Looking back, sometimes our most painful moments birth us into our best chapters in life.

 I leave you with this poem called, “You Learn” by – Jorge Luis Borges

Flower-10-2011You learn

After a while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

and company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts

and presents aren’t promises,

and you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and your eyes open

with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

and you learn to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans

and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn

that even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure.

That you really are strong.

And you really do have worth.

And you learn. And learn.

With every good-bye you learn.

 Note: Butterfly wings and mandala drawings by ~liz

 

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11 responses to “Days 63-64: “You Learn””

  1. Gay Lindsey Avatar
    Gay Lindsey

    Liz,
    This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing a part of your soul.

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  2. Victoria Avatar
    Victoria

    Today I lingered in bed a bit longer, reading and catching up with myself and home. However, once I read today’s reflection I was taken back to years of memories of a loved one who suddenly passed away too soon in her young life. Lauren, who after 6 years of college and dental school was making wedding plans in the Fall to begin her new life. If only I had spent more time with her; if only we each had more time to spend in life…
    Liz, how poignant this piece is; you are right to note the need to pause and affirm loved ones, good times and appreciation of all things good in our lives.
    Perhaps a small footnote message to add to this beautiful mandala to keep this thought alive?

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  3. candace nagle Avatar
    candace nagle

    Oh Liz, What a beautiful mandala! And my heart is filled by your words. The liminal place: the in between place: the place where one door is shutting but we don’t know what lies beyond the next: the Threshold. Sometimes we sit there for years, sometimes only a moment. Whether we walk into it through our own choices or are catapulted by circumstances, sometimes it is such an uncomfortable place that we want to skedaddle out and will take any door just to be out of that horrible uncertainty. It is a sacred practice to recognize this place and trust Spirit enough to be in it as long as it takes to receive the gifts. Often we wait in a growing darkness of soul for the unimaginable ‘knowing’ which allows us to move forward as ‘the way’ opens. Hoping and waiting, waiting and hoping in the eye of the storm: I feel myself in this place now. The detritus of old ways clings to me, causing grief. Fear and anxiety show up regularly. The barely glimmering light of new ways of being with myself and others is barely perceptible on the horizon. I don’t know what it is all going to look like. I find myself craving the sight of green budding plants. Passing through all of the emotions you mentioned (and I am glad you added cynicism to the list), today I am feeling excited because I am getting the sense that I can actually be in this place and honor its gifts…that it is not a wasteland, but a germinating fruitfulness. One of the blessings that I received this week is the realization that I am not alone…and the opening of the heart to those around me is part of how we all survive…together.

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  4. candace nagle Avatar
    candace nagle

    addendum: I just realized another piece of this Threshold place and that is my unwillingness to let go of what is passing. I am cleaning house and found scraps of a favorite children’s book that I read to my grand daughter when she was a toddler (over and over, of course). She is pre-teen now…that time is way passed. But my first reaction was to save the scraps, to save the demolished book as if that would keep time from marching on, keep my grand daughter from leaving me and the magic realm of childhood. When, in reality, it would just sit here in a mausoleum of non-living artifacts of my life. I look around me and ask, “What else am I holding onto trying to keep the past alive? How is this keeping me from opening to the future?” I apologize for being so verbose today. This is a rich topic!

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  5. Maureen McDermott Avatar
    Maureen McDermott

    Far too much today to capture in a simple comment Liz. Wow, how true all of it, your descriptions of emotions, reality of moving on yet lingering to savour what has been, joy of anticipation, change and learning. During the week I read that Lent is like putting the L plates on again and relearning much of what we already know. Today you have done that for me , Liz. Your detailed drawing and mandala capture the spirit splendidly. THANK you.

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  6. marily Avatar
    marily

    moving forward in a spirit of wholeness, we long as we allowed ourselves stirred in circles… as we learn to discern… only walking closely in His companionship, may not even in silence nor still points at times, we just know His voice… where we belong. thank you Liz.

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  7. Sue Avatar
    Sue

    Beautiful Mandela and watercolors.Thank you for sharing..:)

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  8. erie chapman Avatar
    erie chapman

    Thank you for your poly-excellence, Liz. Both mandalas, your writing, and the Borges poem including his stunning last line: “With every good-bye you learn.”
    I’m always bemused when commentators and speech-makers and politicians tell us what “challenging times” we live in. There is no such thing as a time that is not challenging. We are ALWAYS in interesting times.
    So, your essay makes wonderful sense. Thank you.

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  9. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    Hi all, I’m facing change on a granular level at work; we are changing from paper documentation to electronic medical records, and our roles are changing and expanding. I’m finding right now that I have fear that I won’t be able to master the changes quickly enough, that I’ll let patients and colleagues down. I like what you’ve said about the Still Point; remembering to invite God to flow through me, to allow the process to happen, and not expect immediate perfection. I’m really bumping up against this as the computers require perfection and won’t let us move forward unless we do it exactly correctly. Lots for me to learn, on so many levels. I can be thankful for the opportunities to look at my own fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) and have compassion for myself and others during this change time. A good lenten opportunity. Metamorphosis!

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  10. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Thank yo so much Gay, Victoria, Candace, Sr. Maureen, Marily, Sue, Erie and Stephanie for your sharing your from your heart and soul with our community. We gift each other with love and encouragement, which brings renewed strength and a sense of peace.

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  11. Woody Wessel Avatar
    Woody Wessel

    BEAUTIFUL.

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