Days 82-83 – A Different Invitation – Journal of Sacred Work

During a recess in seventh grade I saw a friend sitting on a school bench crying. From the storm that raged within her came words all of us know.

"I didn't get invited to Bobbie's birthday party," she whimpered.

Later that day, I saw her again. "You seem better," I said.

"I didn't want to go to that stupid party anyway," she replied.

"Hate is not the opposite of love," Dr. Roll0 May wrote, "apathy is."

In the face of rejection, it's so difficult to confront our pain that indifference looks like a fine refuge. But, when we turn to apathy, we risk cutting ourselves off from the very Love we seek.

Love's invitation is the best kind. It is full and continuous.

Love's invitation is never withdrawn. But, we can refuse to accept it.

When people are disappointed by some outcome in life, the temptation may be to condemn God's Love as meaningless. Once indifference to Love's gifts seeps in, we start shutting off Love's flow through our lives.

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive," May writes, "- to grief, sorrow and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before."

Most people seem to have trouble with this. They express love in the midst of happiness and rapidly withdraw it when the snake of fear slithers by.

Love will never force itself on us. It awaits our invitation.

I couldn't see it at the time, but the answer for the crying girl was not indifference. Instead, the hard call would probably have been for her to accept her disappointment and thus let Love begin its healing in her.

Absent this, resentment can boil beneath apathy's cloak. Decades later, she may find that her unresolved pain is still dripping its poison.

Hard times are the best opportunities for us to invite Love into our hearts.

Easy to say. Incredibly hard to live.

It's so much easier to dismiss "difficult people": cranky patients, demanding visitors and hard supervisors. How much more powerful to try a different invitation – to let Love guide us in welcoming the needs of these "others."

In the midst of anger, it is only Love that can save us. Amid happiness, it is only Love that can sustain our joy.

-Erie Chapman

Photograph: "Stormy Sea" – Erie Chapman, 2012

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Categories: Reflections, Holidays, Spirituality

Tags: caregivers, Erie Chapman, Love’s Invitation, Rollo May

5 responses to “Days 82-83 – A Different Invitation”

candace nagle

March 22, 2012 at 9:13 am

Well said, Erie. I often think that the small slights are practice for the big stuff. Each time we turn our hearts toward God, compassion, and forgiveness we have opened a channel for more love to flow within ourselves and the world. Hopefully, when we face insurmountable difficulties, this golden thread which we have been spinning with every act of open heartedness, will be strong enough to keep us tethered to God. And, for me, this journal is woven into that golden thread.

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marily

March 23, 2012 at 4:00 am

“Hard times are the best opportunities for us to invite Love into our hearts”…
… surely practice keeps us closer to hitting the mark… where we no longer know the difference. For Love as our guide, would be living to the full in the awareness of the present moment.

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erie chapman

March 23, 2012 at 9:11 am

Thanks so much Candace and Marly! -erie

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Karen York

March 23, 2012 at 2:33 pm

My first reaction to being slighted by Bobbie is always indifference. It is a stupid party and I really didn’t want to go. Funny how these many years later, I still feel the sting of those many “rejections”. I suppose, like you said, it is how we later choose to deal with those events that molds our thinking and our loving.

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~liz Wessel

March 24, 2012 at 11:15 am

These words resonate, “To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive,” May writes, “- to grief, sorrow and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before.”
This is the crux of the life lesson for me. Sometimes it feels like I am walking a fine line, between being true to myself and avoiding apathy or “wallowing” in my emotions.
Often, social pressures seem to dictate that we put on a happy face regardless of what we feel inside and I find myself resisting those pressures. This Journal is a space for honestly sharing what I feel, more so, than than common expectations. Perhaps, that’s crazy to do on a public forum but for me that’s the sacred part.
Thanks, Erie for another thought provoking reflection and also to all who shared their meaningful insights.

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