No health care organization can call itself a center of loving care, a healing place, unless it can pass The Mother Test. How can a culture be transformed to accomplish this goal?
There is no more important energy in the world than Love. We know that it cannot be taught.
This means that all the principles and teachings of Radical Loving Care are designed to guide caregivers, to point them to their own answers, to finding love in their own hearts so they may express it to others.
Dr. Roe, the orthopedic surgeon referenced in last week's Journal, cannot pass The Mother Test unless he undergoes a key transition. He needs to feel compassion for his patient as if it were his mother or someone else he loves. He learns this compassion by recalling his experiences of caring – of the love his mother may have expressed for him as a young boy.
The Mother Test is difficult to teach because it must be felt before it is practiced. It is not accomplished by walking mechanically through a series of steps.
Dr. Roe cannot live the joy of Radical Loving Care so long as he sees his work as a series of transactions. To ask him to do this would be like expecting a boy to experience the joy of riding a bike when he is focused on making the wheels go around and balancing his weight.
So long as the bike rider is intent on the mechanics of speed, he cannot experience the joy of soaring.
This leads to the foundation of both the practice and teaching of The Mother Test. Before any steps or any “doing,” we have to learn who we are and how we love in the rest of our lives.
Here are the Three Core Principles of Radical Loving Care:
The Golden Thread symbolizes the ancient tradition of loving care. The thread has passed through the hands of every caregiver who practiced love in his or her work.
The Servant’s Heart: A place becomes healing when it is staffed by people who have been hired, trained and led to express the heart of a servant in their work.
Sacred Encounters occur whenever need is met with love. Encounters occur in every setting. Typically, they involve transactions. You do this for me and I'll do that for you. In other words, regular encounters are conditional. Sacred Encounters are unconditionally loving. A meeting between a patient and caregiver achieves sacred status only when love is present in the exchange.
How much do you love your mother? How much do you care for your spouse, your children, your friends?
Can love really be quantified? Of course not.
Love is like art. We know it when we see it or when we discover how to experience it.
Conditional behavior closes the heart blocking Love's entry. Unconditional living arises naturally whenever love is present.
-Erie Chapman

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