“Guess now who holds thee?” Death,” I said. But, there, the silver answer rang,–“Not Death, but Love.” ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

What was life like before we moved through the portal of our Mother’s womb, to the waiting hands ready to catch and welcome us into this world? I imagine that within the protective warmth of our Mother’s body we longed for nothing. Our every need was met for comfort and sustenance without having to ask. We were one with the Source of life and in a realm of spiritual bliss.

However, once delivered into the arms of her parents, a baby must learn to express her needs for comfort, nourishment and love. According to psychologist Harville Hendrix, “above all else we seek connection.” During the first years of life, parents who are attuned to their baby’s physical and emotional needs are essential, especially if a baby is to develop this deep sense of connection.

Often well-meaning but busy parents may not be consistently attuned to a child needs as necessary, resulting in perceived dis-connections and childhood wounds.  Hendrix sees these broken connections as “the source of all human problems", and he believes that "restoring the awareness of our connections is the source of all healing."

There are times in my relationships with others that I feel a sudden swell of emotion. When the intensity of my emotion is far greater than what the situation warrants, it is a signal to me that an unhealed childhood wound is being poked. I feel impatient with myself and self-chastise, “Aren’t you ever going to grow up, Liz?” Interestingly, Hendrix reveals a basic but very important fact. The unconscious or our primitive brain of our ‘fight or flight’ response is unable to distinguish linear time. There is no past, present or future; what was still is. This simple revelation astounded me. Perhaps, my expectation that I just grow up, is a bit unrealistic. Conceivably, there is another way towards spiritual growth and healing.

Interestingly, we seek out mates who carry a set of positive and negative traits that are aligned with our early caregivers. Unconsciously we want to restore our sense of connection and heal the unresolved and unmet needs from our childhood. Yet, unless we develop new insights, awareness and relationship skills set we tend to repeat the same mistakes over and over. We may find ourselves stuck in a ‘vicious cycle’, so to speak.

Ever hopeful is a vision for healing; of becoming fully human while recognizing the Divine Source of our being. Not as something apart and separate from us. Not as a Love shining down upon us  but rather as our inner essence. As I pay attention, I notice how my self-limiting beliefs often obscure this Light.

A synchronous idea, revealed by Wayne Dyer gave me reason for great pause. Whenever, we say things like, “I am weak, I am not talented, I am unworthy… we take God’s name in vain!!! If God is in everything and in each of us…then are we not saying these things about God? For when God spoke to Moses, He said, “I Am That I Am” , which is the sacred name of God ( Exodus 3:14-15).

What if we instead, embraced and affirmed our sacred breath and source of our being; if we began to speak ‘I AM’ of Love?

~liz Sorensen Wessel

Photo: Granddaughter, Staring Wessel with her dad Lee, July 2012

Book referenced by Harville Hendrix PhD., “Getting the Love You Want: A guide for Couples” and Dr. Wayne Dyer, “Wishes Fulfilled.”