“…I learned at last
what it means to love people and why love is worn down by loneliness, pity, and
anger.”
– Czeslaw Milosz

 
Broken boards - copyright erie chapman 2013            We have all been members of teams. Since childhood, you have seen some teams succeed and some self-destruct because of the way some members are afflicted with
“loneliness, pity and anger” – a kind of toxicity that always leads to trouble. You know what this looks like because you have
experienced these feelings yourself.

             A failed team is like a broken fence. A few bad pieces affect the whole structure. 

             You may even have been a member of a toxic team – one where team members break into factions and focus more on sabotaging each other than they do on patient care. The primary responsibity for converting a toxic team to a healthy one rests with the team leader. 

             Meanwhile, every team tells itself a story about who they are. The story shapes the team's reality. 

             Eckhart
Tolle teaches us that the ego always takes things personally. Our egos
accumulate insults as wounds, many of which never heal. We are not our egos,
Tolle writes.

             We can overcome our sense of anger and self-pity by stepping back
from our egos and observing what is happening. This is a path to healing and a
terrific exercise for team members in learning how to participate in healthy
teams focused on patients. 

             Lists of steps are not the best
ways to learn Love because they suggest that merely walking through the steps
will, by itself, create a new culture of caring. Radical Loving Care lies
deeper than surface steps.

             Still, there are guideposts that
can be helpful for both individuals and teams.

             From a leader’s standpoint the idea
of changing the entire organization, sometimes numbering thousands of employees
is not only daunting but seems impossible.

             Radical Loving Care (RLC) teams
make organization-wide change doable.

             Some teams are already passing The
Mother Test℠. Imagine the impact on culture if every team reached this level.

             Every team leader and caregiver
needs to understand the role of compassion and how it integrates with highest
caregiver competence to become Radical Loving Care.

             It's a nightmare to be part of a toxic team. It's an everyday joy to participate on a team that celebrates caring by supporting each other in the sacred work of caregiving.             

-Erie Chapman

4 responses to “Days 56-58 – Healthy Teams”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    This is a great topic to reflect upon Erie. Thanks for raising this subject. I agree that it is the leader’s responsibility to be a role model for the team. But what if the leader is the person who is toxic in their behavior?
    I believe every member of the team must become responsible to speak with honesty when conflicts arise. It takes great courage. People tend to react with flight or fight. It takes a great deal of energy as well. The most important factor is trust. If we trust our co-workers we are more inclined to want to work through conflicts that arise. I am astonished by how easily I can slip into old familiar stories that I tell myself. Revealing that to another person is an embarrassingly vulnerable position but perhaps important if one is to break the chain of faulty thinking. This can be especially helpful, if the person on the receiving end can receive our message without judgment…that is where the trust comes in.
    I find that whenever there is a conflict the most important thing we can do…is talk to the other person…to find out the other person’s story or perspective. When there is an impasse and polarization occurs then seeking common ground and being willing to compromise is necessary.
    Personally, mindfulness training is helpful in developing self –awareness and is definitely an important tool and that is why I am committed to making it a lifelong practice.
    BTW, fascinating photo. The break in the wood almost appears as an arm reaching and the knot in the wood as a hand…that one could see as a gesture of reaching out or as a clenched fist depending on how we choose to see.
    Thank you, Erie.

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  2. ann kaiser Avatar

    We can either make ourselves miserable or make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.

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  3. Erie Chapman Foundation Avatar

    Thank you Liz and Ann. I really appreciate your comments and know that you are both making great contributions to your teams.

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  4. xavier espinosa Avatar

    Radical Loving Care promotes the concept that we consider being part of a community that encourages us to do “our work” as opposed to a place to work. The dwindling availability of employment lends to a certain amount of confusion where what we do and how we do it become an issue of circumspection and competitiveness. “Mindfulness” encourages us to be aware of how we interact with others and how others interact with us. We become intuitive to the texture of the relationships that exist within the structure of the organization without festering paranoia but not wholly trusting that everyone is vested in maintaining the teamwork model. The assumption that “we are all doing the best we can” becomes the Achilles heel that becomes the central cause of degradation of our vision of an ideal workplace.
    The toxic workplace exists and is sustained and is ultimately attributed to the leadership. Great leadership is inspired by wisdom. Wisdom is the understanding of the education we have received. I was invited to speak at the end of year program for a local university’s school of healthcare management awards dinner. I was the last presenter that followed Baccalaureate, Masters Level alumni. Each spoke of the enrichment that the education experience brought to their lifestyles, the career advancement opportunities that came from networking and the achievements that came from applying the programs principals, no one spoke about the commitment to healing. If the concept of RLC is incumbent on leadership where do those who are committed to the concept place their confidence? If physicians are trained to be scientists and healthcare administrators are taught the principals of accounting, what curriculum needs to be incorporated to the education experience?
    Toxic work environments are insidious and fed by two elements: delusion and deception. Deception incurs anger at the delusion that convinced us to believe that “it could never happen to me”. Both of there are evils of our own design. Is it fair to expect leadership to be able to be aware of the components of the toxicity and take steps to abate the behaviors? In its wake, if we choose to analyze the factors that led its creation and whether or not we survive these episodes, our ultimate goal should to forgive ourselves and continue seeking opportunities to do “our work”. No place is perfect and nothing is forever.

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