"Things will go on, and then one day it will all be over." – Amour  -Written and directed by Michael Haneke.

   It's difficult to imagine a more searing and real depiction of the agonies of caregiving than that portrayed in Haneke's Oscar winning film, Amour. Perhaps, the movie makes us ache because it is so true.

    Amour is not without its light moments, as in this exchange:

Anne:
What would you say if no one came to your funeral? 

George:
Nothing, presumably. 

   But, there is no candy-coating in this moving picture. That is why caregivers will so deeply appreciate it. 

   If you have the courage to visit the fading lives of these two characters you will be rewarded with an experience that will inform your own caregiving.

   The film breeds tolerance. It helps us understand the drudgery of round-the-clock caregiving. It let's us appreciate the kinds of decisions people make amid slow torture. 

   It would be wonderful, as well, if you would share insights from the experiences you have endured as you have looked after the suffering and the dying. The braver and more eloquent we are the more we may teach each other about Love. 

   Amour, with it's spectacular acting and shattering story, is Love as high art. It is an expression of what suffering is about. It is Love as a profound expression of what it means to truly look after each other.

-Erie Chapman 

2 responses to “Days 70-72 – The Power of “Amour””

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Thank you for sharing this movie recommendation. I look forward to seeing it.
    I recall being the visiting nurse for Mike. He lived alone and was only in his late thirties and was entering the last stage of dying. He was scared and had a limited support system. We developed a great rapport from the very first visit. On one of my visits to his home he said to me, “I am not doing this without you.” He trusted me and the (usually) unspoken covenant was stated out loud.
    On the w/e when he slipped into a coma my office called me to say that Mike was not doing well and although I was not working that day could I go out. I was planning on attending a charity fashion show with a friend. I cancelled my plans and went.
    Prior to my arrival, a relative of Mikes who had not seen him in a long time came to visit, panicked and called the paramedics. They were obligated to take him to the hospital even though it was not his wishes. I accompanied Mike in the ambulance and spoke softly to him throughout the ordeal. I advocated for him while in the ER and he was able to get back home to die. I felt I had kept my promise.
    Unfortunately, my friend was not very understanding about my cancelling on her at the last minute. I don’t think she ever forgave me and over time we drifted apart. I have never regretted my decision.

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  2. Cheri Cancelliere Avatar
    Cheri Cancelliere

    Perfectly said, Erie. Love is high art…the highest art of all.

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