Journal of Sacred Work

Days 101-102 – Love in THIS Moment

   "I'm planning to give loving care today," a caregiver told me recently. It's a noble thought and exactly the kind of thing everyone of her patients wants to experience.

   There's a related thought. It's not about what we're planning to do but what we are doing right now.

   Frequently, I find myself plotting new ways to live Love instead of noticing what I'm doing right now.   Sitting at my computer (imagining you at yours) I just now paused to send up a prayer for a man who, now age eighty, is ill and tired of life, and another prayer for a woman who, in this moment, is suffering with cancer knowing that it may soon take her life. 

   We can always do more tomorrow. But, what can how can we live Love right now?

   A patient hits the call button and waits for half an hour. How can the late-arriving caregiver deal with his anger? A frequent response is, "I was busy taking care of other patients" or, worse, "We're short staffed today."

   The problem with this answer is that the patient can do nothing about these excuses and may well be made more uncomfortable knowing there are not enough people to care for patients. 

   The better response has to do with giving love NOW: "I'm so sorry to be slow responding. That must have been hard. I'm here now. How may I help you?"

   The love we give now is more important and any we plan for tomorrow. Tomorrow, of course, will simply be another set of "nows." 

-Erie Chapman

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3 responses to “Days 101-102 – Love in THIS Moment”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    The thought that comes to mind as I have read and re-read the wisdom of your reflection, Erie, is that “life happens when we are busy making plans”. (J. Lennon). Recently, my niece Lisa told me. “I’ve given up making plans because things never go according to plan and then everyone gets stressed and upset. I find it much more enjoyable to just go with the flow”.
    According to Tara Brach,”We spend most of our moments when someone is speaking, planning what we’re going to say, evaluating it, trying to come up with our presentation of our self, or controlling the situation. Pure listening is a letting go of control”.
    When we give our full attention to being with another person it allows sacred space for the other person to be seen and heard in an authentic way. In the unfolding of ‘this moment’ there is a simplicity, and yet a fullness that may hold an element of unexpected surprise, joy, intimacy, discomfort, or deep meaning.
    However, I do think there is value in holding an intention with how we hope to greet the day. Today, I traveled through the night battling fatigue as I held an intention of gratitude and it carried me all the way.

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  2. Sarah Kelly Avatar
    Sarah Kelly

    I do not think any response can be better than what and how Liz said it. However, reading through this message Erie reminds us of the use and learning of therapeutic communication with patients and well really anyone in our daily lives. People who depend on us the most can use kind loving responses rather than annoyed/blamming words and excuses. I think that even if we as nurses cannot respond right away to a patient’s needs, it is more beneficial for all parties involved to acknoledge it and to validate the patient’s concerns. This will make the hospital stay not only more pleasant for the patients, but will also be a reflection of the nurses care when it comes time for the ever most important “Patient Satisfaction Surveys.”

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  3. Alicia Bernard Avatar
    Alicia Bernard

    Liz touched on such an important point that was well put. I oftentimes find myself preoccupied with making plans or stressing about things that I cannot control, which may result in not giving 100% pure attention to the present moment. Not only can this interfere with a patient interaction, but also with other tasks nurses are busy working on. I do believe that fully listening to a person is key, especially when dealing with patients surrounded by a fast paced environment. This helps to reassure the patient that they are meaningful and the nurse cares about what they have to say. I feel giving loving care is a powerful tool for creating a meaningful interaction and empowering the patient when they are in need of support.

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