Days 130-134 Who Walks Beside You?

While walking my mother down the hall to her independent living home she said, "When you are not walking beside me I will pretend you are walking beside me." I cannot imagine a more loving affirmation.

Since she will be 104 this August I will not have much longer to walk beside the person who delivered me to this earth. The journey with her has already been so much lengthier than one might hope. After she has passed on I will always imagine her next to me.

Who walks beside you now? Which of your departed ancestors, family & friends accompany you, offering their shelter, kindness, advice & strength? Each can be guides in your life as well as partners – spirits that share your life in beautiful ways. Even former enemies can be teachers. They have tested your integrity & helped you define your life.

In her heart-changing novel, Lighthousekeeping, author Jeanette Winterson writes these words into the mouth of her protagonist: "Pew taught me that nothing is gone, that everything can be recovered, not as it was, but in its changing form."

This is not about holding séances. It is about experiencing a departed life via memory "in its changing form." The old words of my late father offer help & laughter as he walks beside me every day.

Who floats next to you now? Who, real or pretended, will accompany you down the hall when your days decline?

The departure of our bodies will leave the legacy of our spirit in its wake. Meanwhile, our role is to glance over every so often to acknowledge the souls who have shared our journey & share it still.

-Erie Chapman

Photograph by Martha Chapman, May, 2016

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Categories: Reflections, Holidays, Spirituality

Tags: caregivers, Erie Chapman, Jeanette Winterson, Lighthousekeeping, Martha Chapman, Molly Chapman, mother, seances, the departed

13 responses to “Days 130-134 Who Walks Beside You?”

Teresa Reynolds

May 9, 2016 at 8:16 am

This breathes new life into the idea of “never walk alone”. Thank you for stirring my imagination to great heights this morning. The idea of being accompanied by ancestors is lost sometimes in Western culture. Your mother shines like a saint through her words and her presence there beside you.

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Terry

May 9, 2016 at 2:27 pm

Beautiful writing Chip! I love and admire Aunt Molly who always seemed to “look out for my interests”. I suppose I often think of my father, Max, who gave so much to my mother, my brother Ronnie, and me, through all the years of managing and loving our way through his physical and mental challenges. He never complained; he always talked about positive things and activities and he gave 30 years to the U.S.Navy and to the US Veterans Administration to help veterans in hospitals throughout our country. I also recall that whenever we had to wait for service on our car or whatever, he would whistle to pass the time–pleasant tunes of the day that come to me out of the blue when I think of our years together and yes–he is still walking and whistling beside me.

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~liz Wessel

May 10, 2016 at 8:37 am

Your words and images are filled with love and compassion, Erie that will accompany me along the way. “Even former enemies can be mentors. They have tested your integrity & helped you define your life.” And this is the transformative power of love, when even are enemies are not seen as enemies but rather offer us a gift; an alchemy of a change in heart.
The image of you & your mom, the pure joy in her face and your most tender expression reflects a legacy of a lifetime of loving. The photo of your hands entwined with hers is such a remarkable coupling with your most recent essay, Four Hands.
This is my all-time favorite expression of yours; of loves highest calling. Thanks for this pearl of blessing upon us all.

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Jolyon

May 12, 2016 at 9:40 am

“Who walks beside you?” Right now it is Mary of Magdalene. I have been reading books about her as well as her Gospel. Trying to imagine a world so different from ours, yet so much the same. Wondering if her feminine and mystical approach had taken over, would we have had all these wars the last two millennia?

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Karen York

May 12, 2016 at 11:02 am

I am moved deeply by this photo and your reflection. My parents, only in their 80’s are thinking ahead and planning for what what comes next. They rest assured in their eternal life, but worry about my sister and me and how we will deal with taking care of them when they no longer can, and what will happen with all of their stuff. We have the necessary documents in order, but preparing for these transitions is so much more than that. Your words are encouraging to me knowing they are always beside me and I beside them. Love love…

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erie

May 12, 2016 at 1:11 pm

Thank you so much for your insights, Teresa. Yes, we are accompanied by ancestors known and unknown.

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erie

May 12, 2016 at 1:12 pm

Wonderful the way you evoke your dad and mom and brother, Terry. You walked beside them and it is lovely to know they are with you still.

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erie

May 12, 2016 at 1:13 pm

Thank you for noticing the comment about how former enemies can be mentors, Liz. And thank you for your comments on this blessing of my mom.

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erie

May 12, 2016 at 1:15 pm

No doubt in my mind that they would have been vastly fewer wars if she had be able to lead us on earth. So often, of course, it is our fellow males who launch us into battles that inevitably bring suffering and grief beyond grief.

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erie

May 12, 2016 at 1:16 pm

Thank you so much, Karen. You are a blessing to your family and I know that your departed brother walks with you as well. You are so kind to post a comment here.

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Kaye Harvey

May 13, 2016 at 6:46 pm

My lovely daughter and my only sibling brother walk beside me. And Mother Mary walks with me every second. Mary came to me when Leslie was so sick, and she said, “I know what it is like to watch your child suffer.” Her love and presence have carried me through many a dark day. She had never left me. God comes to us as we need God and this is a glorious manifestation of God to me. Thank you for your beautiful words, Erie. Your Mother is most special no doubt because she raised a fine son. Love to you.

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Maureen McDermott

May 15, 2016 at 5:52 am

Beautiful, Erie. Thank you. Today I journeyed alone for about five hours over the mountain range en route to meetings in Tamworth this week. Solitude as I journey, amidst the vastness of the wide open land invites me to reflect on memories and people who travelled this journey of life. Thanks to your encouraging words Erie I reflect ever more deeply on those who accompany me. For all our angels, I give thanks and praise.

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Terry Chapman

May 9, 2017 at 11:20 am

This piece, read once again a year later calls forth new images of a person who “walks beside me” Just this morning, my wife Margaret, in rehabilitation for a broken leg, gritted her teeth; smiled, and walked on a walker halfway down a busy corridor; smiled and then walked back again to her waiting wheelchair, giggling with animal delight at her progress!
She and I have always walked together–sometimes it seems on air; and of course, other times, when the going was not easy. We will always “be together” and “walk together”; its a pact we have sealed with a kiss!

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