Self portrait - mirror and painting 9C   In 1335 B.C.E. Bak, the chief sculptor to an Egyptian Pharaoh, took clay & sculpted himself & his wife. It is thought to be civilization's first "selfie."

   Over three millennia later, it seems everyone in the world has a self portrait. We are so fascinated with "others" we are bound to be interested in our own image & end up making countless pictures that are more self dreams than self reality. 

   Good portrait artists portray some essence of their subjects. Every depiction captures some of us. None reveals all. 

   The self portrait here shows at least thirty images of me spanning seventy years. Yet, art experts claim that every image we make of anyone or anything is a self portrait.

   Buddhists seek to lose the self, to transcend mortality in favor of eternity. Meanwhile, we are caught in a body with an ever-changing face, time-stretched skin & bones freighted with gravity.

   God's protection can feel tenuous when we are nailed to the cross of a hospital bed. And pray for those suffering torture in the prisons where love ends & evil begins.   

   Our swim through life's waterfall is driven by fire as well as light. The handless clock born by Eternity's angel assures us that our spirit is timeless.  Firefalls time fracture - erie chapman

   So often I search the world for words that are not there. David Whyte has been more successful:

Self Portrait

It doesn't interest me if there is one God
or many gods.
I want to know if you belong or feel
abandoned.
If you know despair or can see it in others.
I want to know
if you are prepared to live in the world
with its harsh need
to change you. If you can look back
with firm eyes
saying this is where I stand. I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living
falling toward
the center of your longing. I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love
and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

I have heard, in that fierce embrace, even
the gods speak of God.

 

-Erie Chapman

Self-portrait & "Eternity's Angel" by Erie

 

One response to “Days 64-68 – Self Dreams”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Erie, I am really taken in by the image of you as a child held in the palm of your hand. You offer several powerful images that are thought provoking in your prose. Every sentence holds meaning.
    Your statement that “We are so fascinated with “others” we are bound to be interested in our own image & end up making countless pictures that are more self dreams than self reality” rings true as well. R. Rohr describes the first half of life as building our persona and in the second half this begins crumble as we discover a more authentic self with a deeper love of self and others.
    This concept “art experts claim that every image we make of anyone or anything is a self portrait” reflects a spiritual truth from a metaphysical perspective; we are not separate, there is really only one of us here.
    I think you expressed a great deal beautifully and Whyte’s expression is a lovely accompaniment. Thank you, Erie

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