Note: special thanks to Terry Chapman for this insightful Father's Day Reflection.

If I close my eyes and envision my father from childhood, we are climbing up a steep hill carrying two pairs of black wooden skis; his are normal length and mine much shorter. It is a cold and sunny winter day in suburban Maryland, but sparsely settled, and we are alone as we proceed up to the summit of the hill and laughingly ski back down side by side. I am warm and secure, cared for and excited–I am loved!

 There are no words spoken in this vision. What matters is the love and shared physical adventure: robust, challenging, and fun.  This vision has sustained me while traveling uphill and downhill pathways ever since 1950 when I was ten years young. And at 77, I still have and share my adventurous, physically rewarding lifestyle with everyone I meet. Who knows what new experiences will be possible tomorrow?  

Dad magically produced original adventures for my brother Ronnie and me, ranging from whistling sessions to tree climbing to bicycle riding, to camping in our backyard, to family vacations filled with life raft trips down the Shawsheen River, to building a swing set in the fragrant pine forest near our vacation home outside Boston. The swing seat hung 20 feet below a huge sweet-smelling pine tree and drew children like a magnet. My friends and I were very grateful that our father always found new ways to interest, involve, and challenge Ronnie, me and as the years past–many, many friends.

What is the nature of fathering? I believe it is a masculine essence wrapped in a loving, Terry Chapmancaring nature.  Good fathers should be full of fun, surprises, and adventurous activities. Nothing more, but certainly nothing less.  I have striven to be that fun filled father with my two sons who as mature adults, still continue our family legacy of adventure seeking, persistence, and a wondrous approach to life itself: the challenges, the successes, the heartache, and the thrill of it all!

Photo: Terry Chapman; skiing

4 responses to “Days 169-170 The Nature of Fathering”

  1. Ann Chapman Debes Avatar
    Ann Chapman Debes

    Lovely thoughts and memories, Terry. Your Dad was such a kind man. I will always remember him with great fondness.

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  2. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Thank you for offering your fond remembrances and own thoughts and philosophy on fathering Terry. What stands out for me is your dad’s enthusiasm for life and living his legacy through sharing this exuberance cultivated in you with your own family as well as the sense of community and inviting others into the circle. Also, how the under-gird of all of this is love. Thank you for sharing this gift with us!
    As we celebrate father’s this weekend there are many wonderful people who come to my mind, those who grace this earth with their presence and those who burn brightly in my memory.
    Sending blessings of gratitude and love to all fathers far and wide! Happy Father’s Day!
    A prayer offered by Karen Summers:
    Provident God,
    You created the fathers in our world and gave them the wisdom to guide us and help us develop our own; we ask that You bless them with Your loving presence.
    Let them continue to be role models who inspire us and guide us along the way. Bless them for their gift of selflessness as they continue to meet the challenges of family life and the balance of work, leisure and faith.
    Give them the abundance of your love and that of their family.
    Amen

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  3. Terry Chapman Avatar
    Terry Chapman

    Thank you, Ann!

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  4. Erie Chapman Foundation Avatar

    What a marvelous writing, Terry! I love your description that fathering is “…a masculine essence wrapped in a loving, caring nature.”
    The best fathers do as you have done & as your dad & mine did with us – they are simultaneously tough & tender, stern & funny & consistently loving
    We were lucky. So are our kids. Thank you for writing this for the Journal and for retelling particular memories of you & your dad – my dear Uncle Max. Hope you had a great Father’s Day.

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