It’s as if you are having a bad dream that you just can’t wake up from and I’ve entered into your dream to accompany you on this journey.  We both laughed amid the confusion that accompanies memory loss, and my heart smiles as you, my friend can find humor in any situation. This would be funny of it was not so poignantly distressing.

There are the moments of fear and anxiety too but how easily you find calm through simple explanations and are quick to express gratitude, “Oh thank you for ‘authenticating’ this, now I understand and I can rest in peace.”  We make great progress in the moment but within minutes our dialogue loops around and around again. It's as though we are in the movie “Ground Hogs Day.”

 I have a lot to learn about Alzheimer’s disease. And you know, don’t you? You told me you googled it and you tell me, “Liz, my brain is not working anymore. I don’t want to be a burden and I feel so bad about myself and each time I respond. “Knock it off” and we both laugh, every time.

I know, that more than anything, you want to be at home and I want to make that happen for you.  (I can’t let on but the responsibility is onerous and weighs heavy, especially since you are alone without family. We are your family.

As I delve beneath the surface of the dramas that are continually unfolding, I can’t tell you, but I find myself touching upon a deep sadness. I wish you were not in this perilous dream as the life you love slips away bit by bit. You often tell me that you have no regrets and that you have lived a great life having travelled the world and serving your community as a mid-wife in England and then as a home care nurse for 25 years. As your trusted friend and the DPA I want to turn this dream into a happy one.

This whole situation is a very humbling experience, one that takes me to my knees, while a window opens into empathy, compassion and awakens glimmers of hope, especially through the caring gestures of others.

….And through the grace of God everything is brighter within the light of a new day, my friend, or as you often say, "In God we trust."

Prayer by Vienna Cobb Anderson

Reflection by Liz Sorensen Wessel

Watercolor by ~liz