Thanksgiving table2  Does "advice" ever really help? If so, here comes some of the best I ever heard about holidays & how to deal with them.

   Thanksgiving. What does your inner voice instruct? "Be thankful. By glad. Be grateful whether you  feel it or not. Everybody BETTER have fun! It's a holiday!"

   Midway through any break how many times have you heard: "Enjoy. This is a vacation!"

   Afterwards, others will ask, "How was your Thanksgiving?" You will say, "Fine" whether it was or not.

   But, most holidays bring as much disappointment as celebration. The reason? Expectations soar so high they are hard to match.

   Thus the advice. Want to have a successful holiday? Lower expectations.

   By definition, vacations depart from hard work. According to the experts changing routines increases irritability for some. The chance something will go wrong rises by 15 to 20%. Instead of understanding this we get mad. Then comes recrimination & the inevitable guilt trip: "How could you do that? This is Thanksgiving!" 

   Cut expectations & increase the chance of success. Lower the pressure & raise the likelihood of a joyful holiday. Afterwards you will truly be thankful.  

-Erie Chapman

4 responses to “317-321 – Best Holiday Advice?”

  1. Erie Chapman Foundation Avatar

    I am grateful to each of you for supporting the Journal.

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  2. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Great wisdom from a wise sage! Thanks for this, Erie for it is so true. I often find when I set really high expectations I am disappointed. Yet, some of my best experiences is when I did not have expectation and just was open to the unfolding.
    I had to chuckle and send this reflection to my sister Pat as she often recalls that several years ago when we were sharing challenges with keeping house with young ones undoing our efforts, I apparently told her that I had decided to lower my expectations and in doing so let go of a lot of my frustrations. She has brought that up to me countless times through the years and really got a kick out of it…I think she found it helpful too:)
    I carry your reflection with me on my travels tonight… πŸ™‚

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  3. Hugh Grefe Avatar
    Hugh Grefe

    This reminds me of a two-part sermon delivered by our pastor over two Sundays. He called it, β€œThe Ten Governing Priniciples of Desiring Less to Get Enough.” Interesting that I heard this sermon at the same time we were working together at Riverside Hospital.
    I think that you are reminding us of the need to be mindful when we are entering a moment fraught with emotion and filled with people who we may not have seen in awhile. Your comments are a good touchstone for me.
    This year we have invited our new across the street neighbors to join us for Thanksgiving since we will have room due to our family being scattered this year. We look forward to spending time with these folks new to our lives, and to reflecting with new friends about life’s blessings.

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  4. Todd Avatar
    Todd

    This is interesting. I understand how powerful this small shift can be for many. For some reason, I don’t usually set expectations with family gatherings so I am rarely disappointed. However, this is not always true regarding expectations in my professional life.
    I will take some time to ponder how this strategy could positively impact this area of my life. Thanks for the idea!

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