Journal of Sacred Work

Days 188-192 – How Is Your Bandwidth?

Bandwidth Definition (Dictionary): PSYCHOLOGY – the energy or mental capacity required to deal with a situation – "he lives alone, and says he doesn't have the bandwidth to handle a steady relationship"

 
Amid floods of meetings & omnipresent screens the word "bandwidth" is now widely used as a way as an excuse. "I don't have the bandwidth to handle that." Or in describing someone's limitations: "She would not have the bandwidth to handle that."
 
Our current crises may include our rising inability to listen beyond our agenda. Men are notorious offenders.
 
Over several hours this weekend with a hospital-based physician-leader responsible for patient experience (or, as a cardiologist in the discussion added, "All that bullshit.") I mentioned having been a hospital CEO who now consults on "that B.S."
 
Although professing "impossible trouble with ER docs" the physician-leader was profoundly disinterested in any thoughts from the cardiologist or me  on that issue or on anything we had to say. "What I need is a judge & a television show," he told us.
 
The cardiologist laughed, "Erie was a judge & hosted a national television show for eight years. He's also ordained."
 
The doctor-leader said nothing. I decided to fabricate.
 
"I also served as a flight surgeon in Viet Nam for six years – won the Silver Star," I lied.
 
Were this true it would have meant that on top of actually being a trial lawyer, hospital CEO, minister & national t.v. host I was somehow suddenly a doctor & a decorated war hero! Nothing had reached him.
 
I mad my final try: "Then I played cello for the Nashville Symphony." 
 
Bingo! "My daughter plays the clarinet," he said…& continued for several minutes.
 
This capable physician had no bandwidth for anything beyond himself.
 
Further pain came after the leader left as the cardiologist & I confessed how often we have committed the same offense – nodding but not listening. We do not have much bandwidth either. 
 
-Erie Chapman
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2 responses to “Days 188-192 – How Is Your Bandwidth?”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Good morning Erie, your story illustrates an important spiritual truth for each of us to contemplate. I certainly can relate this wisdom to my daily life. The person before us has something to teach and reflect back to us. It is easy for to look at another person’s faults with judgement rather than look at the mote in my own eye. These encounters are opportunities for our own and each other’s growth.
    We never know, although this person seemed defensive when this conversation unfolded I imagine that he will continue to consider what was shared and a seed of a new possibility may have been planted.
    Our thoughts and our words we choose to express ourselves are so powerful. I’ve heard it said that our thoughts create our reality. I am noticing this more often and I am increasingly aware of how my words can encourage of discourage those I encounter.
    Thank you for highlighting this important actuality.

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  2. Todd Meador Avatar
    Todd Meador

    Your attempts to connect with him are comical!
    Were you able to say both of these statements with a straight face?
    — “I also served as a flight surgeon in Viet Nam for six years – won the Silver Star,” I lied.
    — I mad my final try: “Then I played cello for the Nashville Symphony.”
    This must have been a fascinating experiment.
    Were you playing golf during this conversation?
    If so, maybe he chose not to listen because he set a boundary for himself to not talk about work when playing the game.
    He could consider golf is his “away from work time” or he could be serious about his game and does not want to let work challenges interfere with his focus.
    Regardless, what a thought provoking story.
    How many times have I not “heard” or connected with others in a similar fashion?

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