Journal of Sacred Work

Days 125-129 From Whom Did You Learn Love?

Mom april 20 2018 - chip # 2 9mb   Whether we remember her consciously or not we all "know" the first teacher from whom we learned love. I had a great one & consider myself incredibly lucky.

  It was through her that I entered this earth & from this earth that she departed two years ago (May 5, 2018, at age 105) a few days after I made this picture. It is odd that by taking a picture of my own mom I ended up creating what other artists now consider fine art.*

   Mom's exit was as soft as was she, so pleasant that my son said, "Dad, I want to sign up for that kind of death."

   Obviously, I had nothing to do with her longevity (105). But great as were her genes it was her gifts of love that mattered. 

   In the course of teaching Radical Loving Care it is often my father whose words I recall. Like me, he used a lot of them. Not mom. Her love spoke through presence.

   Some see hands as healing pathways. The ancient ones in the photograph, when they were those of a young mom, were rarely used to swat me in the rear.

   Instead, it was those hands that held me to nurse at her breast, those hands that hugged me when I cried & that stroked my face when I was sick. It was those hands that she used to conduct the Rachmaninoff & Beethoven she listened to & those hands that reached out to me in her final days to hold mine & say, "Oh Chip, I hate to see you leave."

   Long as we had her, I hated to see her leave & am grateful for her every moment. 

   Our mom's are our first caregivers. Yet, many great caregivers had bad luck. Moms who were indifferent, unkind or absent. Somehow they found others to teach them Radical Loving Care. 

   This Journal can help you reflect on your teachers, not just with words like, "My mom was great," or "My minister was terrific." But, to write specifics & stories that illustrate them. Through that exercise you may learn things forgotten or never recognized & thus teach love in new & richer ways.

-Erie "Chip" Chapman

*The great photoartist Imogen Cunningham did a similar thing with her famous image "My Father At Ninety." Prints of it are $20,000!

"Final Days," this image of my mom, hung in the Vanderbilt University Art gallery this past year. 

swiftlyunabashed93c6d9b23b Avatar

Published by

swiftlyunabashed93c6d9b23b
Categories: , , , ,
Tags: , , ,

4 responses to “Days 125-129 From Whom Did You Learn Love?”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Dear Erie, this is such a beautiful remembrance of your mom that highlights the incredible legacy she has bequeathed to you, your family and for generations to come.
    I imagine that you still feel her gentle presence with you, especially on low days, when her voice whispers an affirming word of comfort and love.
    Thank you for sharing this loving image of your mom to accompany your tribute, both are very moving and stir remembrances of my own mom.
    As Mother’s Day approaches, I appreciate the invitation to reflect in a deeper more meaningful way about those who have informed our lives.

    Like

    Reply
  2. Terry Chapman Avatar
    Terry Chapman

    My mother danced her way through a challenging life and used her artistry and love to raise both me, a very active youngster and teen, and my amazing brother Ronnie, who though challenged by deafness, autism, aphasia and limited communication abilities, lived a full life until passing on to Heaven age 70 in 2014. My parents taught ballroom dancing; Mother had studied ballet and gracefully demonstrated all the proper moves. My Dad had an athletic approach but with his balance and grace, presented a handsome image for the males to follow!
    Our home was full of love, not just in words, but in years of sacrifice and time spent together. Two images stand out in my heart: first is my mother balancing a large book on her head while doing an intricate tango dance step. And the other is of my Dad one winter day when I was 10 years old and he took me skiing near our home and gave me a gentle push as I made my first descent–not high in altitude, but full of pride and love for his always being with me, my mother, and especially for his patient demonstration of his love for Ronnie in everything he did. All three of them modeled loving care and propelled me to devote my life to social service, education, and career coaching.

    Like

    Reply
  3. Judy Herendeen Avatar
    Judy Herendeen

    I remember the specific day I sat with a profound sense of the love I grew up with and the way it had shaped my essence.
    I was entertaining my Masters program. I wanted to serve others with mental health issues. As a youngster, I would accompany my Dad as
    he made house calls in rural Ohio. I also hung out at the hospital as he made rounds on patients he had operated on the day before.
    I remember him coming home after he lost a patient and how he would seek out my mother, who was a nurse, to share his grief. My parents taught me about service.
    While my Mother was always there to listen and made me feel safe, my Dad also became a person who often wanted me with him as he shared
    his work with others. I learned one of my best skills from my Mother. To listen. One which I consider the true gesture of love. And my father gave me the experience
    of knowing no matter who you are or where you come from, you are worthy of your love and caring.

    Like

    Reply
  4. Jolyon Avatar
    Jolyon

    Next month it will be forty years. Six months after I turned fifty I was at equilibrium. Twenty-five years I was her son and for twenty-five years I was devoid of her nearness. When I was younger, I never imagined that my mother could die. And certainly not of cancer. She had beaten it before. Soon after Mother’s Day she was in the hospital. By Father’s Day she was in the arms of her maker. In many respects I died when she died. The maternal growth was gone. You have no knowledge of the void until they have transitioned.
    I have always had my past and my future but I wish I could have been present with her when she was alive.
    My daughter found a stray cat near her house a couple weeks ago. Trying to find the owners she took it to the vet to check for a microchip. Finding none she let the cat adopt her on the spot. Then came the news that the cat was pregnant. No problem. She took the cat home and prepared for the kittens. A week later, four new kittens arrived and were welcomed by their mother.
    I felt present.
    Love.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to Jolyon Cancel reply