FloweringIn times of grieving our words tend to ring hollow. When a person dies, it is hardest for those who are left behind. Yet, I imagine our loved ones would want us to be happy and go on living. Keeping this in mind, I wish to share these words, adapted from a poem called, “In Lieu of Flowers” by Shawna Lemay. This is what I imagine your loved one might wish to say to you.

Although I love flowers very much, I won’t see them now. So in lieu of flowers:  

Buy a book of poetry, sit outside with a cup of tea and read it out loud, by yourself or to someone, or silently.

Spend some time with a single flower. A rose maybe. Smell it, touch the petals.
Really look at it. 

Share a glass of wine with someone you love. Or, perhaps champagne and think of what Dom Perignon said when he first tasted the stuff: “Come quickly! I am tasting stars!”

Take out a paint set and lay down some colors. Listen to your favorite music. Sing.

Listen to birdsong, watch birds, little common sparrows, hummingbirds and seagulls too. Watch hawks soar upon high riding the wind.

 In lieu of flowers, walk amid the trees and watch the light falling ever so quietly. Eat an apple, a really nice big one. I hope it’s crisp. 

Have a long soak in the bathtub with candles, maybe some rose petals.
Sit on the front stoop and watch the clouds. Have a dish of strawberry ice cream in my name. 

If it’s winter, have a cup of hot chocolate outside for me. If it’s summer, a big glass of lemonade. 

If its autumn, collect some leaves and press them in a book you love. I’d like that. 
Sit and look out a window and write down what you see. Write down some other things too. 

In lieu of flowers, 
I would wish for you to flower. 
I would wish for you to blossom, to be beautiful.

And when all that is left of me is love; give me away…

 

Shared by Liz Soresnesen Wessel
Photo by Liz

8 responses to “Days 200-201 An Ascending Angel”

  1. erie chapman Avatar
    erie chapman

    Thank you for giving us so much with this marvelous post, Liz – Your photograph, Rumi’s heart-changing quote that the path to the sanctuary is within us & the way that you adapted it (wonder how the original reads.). In particular, that life-altering final quatrain. Good God. These are things we all would like to have read at our funeral and perhaps we can ensure they are read at the funerals of others? Thank you, Liz.

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  2. erie chapman Avatar
    erie chapman

    …Liz. I just looked up the poem and discover it must be YOU that added that devastating closing line!
    “And when all that is left of me is love; give me away…”
    This is as fine a line as has ever appeared in the journal from anyone so I sure do hope it is from you. In any case, you brought it to us. Thank you

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  3. Jan Avatar

    Transcendent. 💜

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  4. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Good morning Erie. I can not take credit for that line. A friend shared the entire poem at her mothers funeral, attributed to “anonymous.” I shared it at my brother’s celebration of life..However, with additional research I learned who the name of the author.
    Here is the poem entirety.
    “When I die
    Give what’s left of me away
    To children
    And old men that wait to die.
    And if you need to cry,
    Cry for your brother
    Walking the street beside you
    And when you need me,
    Put your arms
    Around anyone
    And give to them
    What you need to give to me.
    I want to leave you something,
    Something better
    Than words
    Or sounds.
    Look for me
    In the people I’ve known
    Or loved,
    And if you cannot give me away,
    At least let me live in your eyes
    And not on your mind.
    You can love me most
    By letting
    Hands touch hands
    By letting
    Bodies touch bodies
    And by letting go
    Of children
    That need to be free.
    Love doesn’t die,
    People do.
    So, when all that’s left of me
    Is love,
    Give me away”
    ― Merrit Malloy

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  5. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Thanks so much for offering a comment Jan. I hope all is well with you and yours!

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  6. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Here is the original poem by Shawna Lemay, which I hope makes up for my changing it up a bit… and thank you for your lovely affirmation, Erie!
    Although I love flowers very much, I won’t see them when I’m gone. So in lieu of flowers: Buy a book of poetry written by someone still alive, sit outside with a cup of tea, a glass of wine, and read it out loud, by yourself or to someone, or silently.
    Spend some time with a single flower. A rose maybe. Smell it, touch the petals.
    Really look at it.
    Drink a nice bottle of wine with someone you love.
    Or, Champagne. And think of what John Maynard Keynes said, “My only regret in life is that I did not drink more Champagne.” Or what Dom Perignon said when he first tasted the stuff: “Come quickly! I am tasting stars!”
    Take out a paint set and lay down some colours.
    Watch birds. Common sparrows are fine. Pigeons, too. Geese are nice. Robins.
    In lieu of flowers, walk in the trees and watch the light fall into it. Eat an apple, a really nice big one. I hope it’s crisp.
    Have a long soak in the bathtub with candles, maybe some rose petals.
    Sit on the front stoop and watch the clouds. Have a dish of strawberry ice cream in my name.
    If it’s winter, have a cup of hot chocolate outside for me. If it’s summer, a big glass of ice water.
    If it’s autumn, collect some leaves and press them in a book you love. I’d like that.
    Sit and look out a window and write down what you see. Write some other things down.
    In lieu of flowers,
    I would wish for you to flower.
    I would wish for you to blossom, to open, to be beautiful.

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  7. Jolyon Avatar
    Jolyon

    The words in this essay, the poems woven together, truly are magnificent. One can imagine a person sitting along the bank of a river underneath an oak tree. Slowly reciting each line aloud as a chant that binds the soul to nature. It brings back memories of my friend Elaine and the many days we would talk about life, love, religion, death of the body. The last four lines are how she wanted to be. She was a giving person even after she turned and said goodbye to her body.
    May God’s Love keep you safe…

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  8. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    What a lovely response and remembrance of such a fine friend of yours, Elaine and what an extraordinary gifting of a friendship, one to treasure always, as I know you do. Thank you, Jolyon. Thank you for your blessing which I extend to you and your precious family.

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