“Liz, I want to go home. Are you taking me home? When are we leaving?” The mantra continues, no matter the response, the question continues. My dear friend’s anxiety and agitation waxes and wanes. What to do when the same question repeats over and over? After a while I find myself at a loss for words. So, I close my eyes and start to hum softly lullabies from my childhood, Christmas carols, hymns. Gradually she begins to calm.  My eyes open, and I share an affirming comment about her all the patients she cared for throughout the years. A switch is flipped and over the next hour she talks about her nursing career, little fragments of recollections, hazy but still there. All is calm.

Early on in my friends Alzheimers journey, I would explain, again and again and try to reason. I’ve learned that it is not helpful. Distraction is a much better approach. The monthly virtual education offerings the Alzheimer’s Association are so helpful. Their website has great resources for support.

My friend has a deep and abiding faith. She loves singing spiritual hymns and so singing with her has been a wonderful calming aid. Currently in a sub cute rehab facility, my friend shares a room with two other people, so we are sensitive to their needs for a restful healing environment, in a less than restful place.

We have a note posted above my friend’s bed, "Sing Amazing Grace when she becomes anxious." She joins in the singing.  A patient’s son who was visiting his mom told me that he sang Amazing Grace to her the other day. Her daughter brought my friend some homemade soup which she really enjoyed. Yesterday, I fed her mom lunch as the tray  was delivered but she needs assistance eating. When the overstretched staff finally arrived to assist, they were appreciative.

It is these glimmers of light that I hold on to. On this journey with challenges and worries it's the little kindnesses that makes all the difference in the world.

Blessings,

Liz Sorensen Wessel