She is clearly kind. But why would this nurse need bravery?

The answer comes as a question. How many times across your long career did you say to yourself when the alarm went off, “Do I really want to show up for my shift today?”

I celebrate you fellow alums for finding the courage to get up and show up. For meeting the face of ugly suffering with the face of kindness.  

How did you find love where laypeople averted their eyes? How many Fridays did you leave suffering at work and go out to a party struggling to smile?

After all, dressing up for some fancy event, you never got to say, “I think I’ll wear the blood-covered scrubs I just doffed.” Or “Maybe I’ll bring the dreaded, vomit-stained patient gown I took off a cancer sufferer today.” Or “Maybe I’ll show everyone cell phone shots of the accident victim I cared for who arrived covered with blood, his nearly-severed left arm hanging by a thread, his voice screaming his raw fear of death.”

No. You put on a brave face and smiled to your friends. Even those unfortunate fellow males of mine, (yes, the macho ones) who think that kindness equals weakness. Other than professional caregivers, would any of those disdainful noncaregivers have the bravery to do what this nurse did regularly?

I often use this early 2000s picture not because my award-winning photojournalist daughter took it but because it is such an exceptional portrayal of the alchemical mix of bravery and kindness.

To this day, most first line caregivers are female and most CEOs are male. I have been talking with those men for decades. Sadly, most remain deaf to love’s role in leadership.

Part of that comes from our testosterone fueling aggression. Another reason is a renewed decline in male leaders who model kindness as manly.

The issue is apolitical. Two women of opposite parties have tried to lead the way.

In October, 2016, First Lady Michelle Obama warned that many men “…are worried about the impact this election is having on our boys who are looking for role models of what it means to be a man.”

In April, 2026, First Lady Melania Trump finds herself wondering the same. Will men, particularly the rich and powerful Epstein gang, own up to how they treated young women?

Like her predecessor, Ms. Trump wants real men to understand that kindness includes the bravery to be accountable. Perhaps she has noticed the increasing re-brutalization of male culture. A drive to return to the bad old days of condescension toward anyone viewed as “weak.”

Does this include the sick? Corporatization has emasculated local hospital CEOs by forcing them to defer to distant executives. The example? Margin matters over mission.

One local hospital CEO shocked me by confessing. “Our bonuses aim at three corporate targets: patient satisfaction, quality scores and bottom line.” Then his tone turned rueful. “The problem is that if you don’t hit money targets the rest is irrelevant!”

Our best men cannot become effective caregivers if they define manliness as money and loving care as for women only.

Back to the picture. The nurse’s bravery lives beyond her sweet smile. Look at those IV lines? Why is the nurse wearing a plastic gown and gloves?

What is she doing with her right arm?

When her patient was a boy he could turn over by himself. Today, this once-virile young man is old, sick, helpless. He needs determined strength and one thing more. A healing smile.

Brave kindness.

Erie Chapman, M.T.S, J.D.