[The following post was written by regular weekend contributor Liz Wessel, R.N., M.S., Mission Director, Saint Joseph Home Health Network, Orange, California. The photo at left is by Roger Katz.]

Conversations,“Like we say at home they are food and drink for the soul, you know?”

-John O’Donohue

I feel fortunate to be living in a miraculous age where I can connect with people instantly from around the globe. Life is increasingly expansive because of access to a world of images, and information. Knowledge on any subject is just a tap-click away. Communication requires less effort with the convenience of e-mail correspondence. Seemingly, we accomplish more in less time, as volumes steadily increase.  Do you ever wonder what we are letting go of when we choose an e-mail message over picking-up the phone?

Social networks reconnect us with old friends and new friends in interesting ways. Technology invites us into a seductive realm of exotic means of communication. Yet, doesn’t it pale in comparison to being in the presence of another person? To see her face flush with color that she is unable to conceal, to glimpse the mystery of his soul in a momentary glance, to listen to her whimsical sing song  as she tells you of her plans, to grasp a hint of his thoughts as he stirs from his chair to look out the window, or the way she brushes her hair behind her ear when you say what you say. Do you ever wonder what we are letting go of when we choose virtual reality over being in the presence of someone?

I can’t help wonder if we are beginning to let go the leisurely art of conversation. I listened to a recorded interview with the late, great philosopher John O’Donohue, (Speaking of Faith, Feb. 2008.) I reflected on four questions he posed. He said, “One way, and I think this is a really lovely way, and I think it's an interesting question to ask one self is this:”

1. “When is the last time that you had a great conversation, a conversation which wasn't just two intersecting monologues, which is what passes for conversation a lot in this culture.” John O’Donohue

I thought about what I want in my relationships with others, intimacy and a willingness to drop pretenses of social expectations to descend into a soulful place. This past week I attended an annual leadership retreat day.  During the lunch hour, a colleague and I ventured into the quiet of the Sister’s chapel. There we spoke in earnest about what was real for us. I want to share my truth without fear of judgment. Do you ever wonder what friend is longing for you to show yourself?

2. “When was the last a great conversation, in which you over heard yourself saying things that you never knew you knew.” John O’Donohue

It has been a while, perhaps too long. Sometimes my truth just spills out of me. I can see why the word naked often accompanies truth. I can feel so exposed, vulnerable, and hope for the gift of acceptance.

In my younger days if my feelings were hurt, not knowing what else to do, I could shut my heart and walk away. Now, I realize that I can no longer close off my heart to anyone. At least not all the way or for long. A window has opened that was long shut. I live in poignant awareness of life’s ever changing movement. I experience fullness amidst feelings of emptiness. In faith, I experience change as a continual turning toward the Divine. Do you ever listen in stillness to that inner voice, which is always present to guide us?

3. “That you heard yourself receiving from somebody words that absolutely found places within you that you thought you had lost and a sense of an event of a conversation that brought the two of you on to a different plane.” John O’Donohue

I have a friend that I have known for years. On occasion, our paths cross. Although she is from India, and of a different culture and faith, we connect on a lovely spiritual plane. When she speaks, wisdom flows. Truly, I have felt as though God was speaking to me through her. There have been times when I am troubled and I do not even share my concern. Yet, her presence knows and her words like honey soothing my ache. Do you ever wonder about that place in you that longs for discovery?

4. “Fourthly, a conversation that continued to sing in your mind for weeks afterward, you know?  I've had some of them recently, and it's just absolutely amazing, like, as we would say at home, they are food and drink for the soul, you know?”  John O’Donohue

Oh, it is a lovely sensation to connect in a joyful way with another human being. What comes to mind is the beloved Sanskrit greeting of namaste. When greeting another person in "namaste" hands are placed in a prayerful gesture in front of the chest while bowing slightly with politeness. For the greeting means, "I honor the place in you in which the entire Universe dwells, I honor the place in you which is of Love, of Integrity, of Wisdom and of Peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are One."  When in this place I have experienced a light sense of giddiness, laughter and at times tears of compassion. Do you ever just love the questions themselves? 

~Liz Wessel