Days 183-187 The Self We Don’t Know

"Life is a matter of becoming fully and consciously who we really are, but it is a self that we largely do not know." – Richard Rohr

The Concealed Self - copyright erie chapman 2012

"The Concealed Self" – photograph by Erie Chapman 2012

Whenever I read an insight like Rohr's I always wonder how it could be that the one person I might not fully know is myself.

By age ten, I was pretty clear about my identity. Then the process of "forgetting" began, of gradually losing myself beneath layers created by my efforts to match society's demands.

As we bury ourselves beneath masks, we lose our story. Why do we do this? The world we seek to copy is filled with the insanity of wars, torture, political chicanery, pain and petty criticisms (along with moments of joy.)

In the finest journey we can take, we seek to discover, once again, our true self. This is the stuff of fairy tales and hero's journeys. Those stories are interesting to us because we recognize that we have also lost our way. The hero inspires us that perhaps we, as well, can recover our truth.

Our own fable casts us as someone striving to recover this truth. Like Luke Skywalker or Joan of Arc, or Jesus himself, we battle shadowed demons and hard darkness to find our Light.

Caregivers witness this every day. As the stricken among us lie ill or injured, they see desperation in the eyes of some and in others the light of a continuing journey.

No caregiver has ever succeeded in becoming a loving healer without first suffering and then staying in touch with the learning found there. We have all suffered.

What have we learned from our agonies?

Suffering is our hardest teacher. The lessons are expensive. Why cast aside what our pain has taught us?

Who are we really? In the Apostle John's first letter, he writes, "It is not because you do not know the truth that I am writing to you, but rather because you know it already." (2:21)

Our best truth is that, at heart, we are all children of Light. Our greatest self is the one that shines through when we become messengers of Love.

-Erie Chapman

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Categories: Reflections, Holidays, Spirituality

Tags: caregivers, Erie Chapman, Radical Loving Care, Richard Rohr

6 responses to “Days 183-187 The Self We Don’t Know”

~liz Wessel

July 2, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Erie, in a recent reflection you mention the mask’s that we wear. Perhaps we don them so long that they mold to our skin and become stuck. No longer can we tell where our own skin begins and the mask ends. Yet as you say, Spirit knows. One day, a little crack forms in our solid persona and we feel a quaking rise from within. Most likely, it will scare us. Yet, if we can begin to look through the openings in the cracks to learn and understand ourselves better, I imagine we will discover something precious within the muckiness.
I find myself noticing the cracks more, tightly held beliefs about myself loosening their grip, images reflected back in discerning questions. Am I willing to see differently? I don’t have the answers but I am mostly willing and definitely curious to explore more, and I trust that my Spirit is guiding me and working for the Good… of All.
Thank you for being a steadfast messenger of Light, Erie. May we continue to encourage one another to risk being and seeing each other humanly Divine.

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Karen York

July 3, 2012 at 8:51 am

Why is it so difficult for us to truly know ourselves?

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Erie Chapman Foundation

July 3, 2012 at 10:23 am

Nice insight, Liz. Maybe your comment is an answer to Karen’s question.

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candace nagle

July 5, 2012 at 10:30 am

As I read this post and Karen and Liz’s response I was thinking about how important our relationship to spirit is for doffing these masks. We develop masks as mimicry in childhood, following the lead of our elders, we develop them for protection as we sense a threat to our egos, we develop them when we have no moral compass by which to make choices and must maintain what I have heard described as a “vital lie”. Life is hard…and even harder without a relationship to compassionate love. Our masks are really battle scars, I think. We only notice them when they bring us unwanted reactions, cause us pain, or don’t work.
There is no being more perplexing to me than myself…also more boring at times. We look into each other’s eyes to find ourselves…to see a reflection. Who is this crazy person, anyway?! It is a lifelong journey to find out!

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candace nagle

July 5, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Here is what David Whyte has to contribute to this conversation:
WORKING TOGETHER
We shape our self
to fit this world
and by the world
are shaped again.
The visible
and the invisible
working together
in common cause,
to produce
the miraculous.
I am thinking of the way
the intangible air
passed at speed
round a shaped wing
easily
holds our weight.
So may we, in this life
trust
to those elements
we have yet to see
or imagine,
and look for the true
shape of our own self
by forming it well
to the great
intangibles about us.
~ David Whyte ~

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Maria Doglio

July 6, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Unraveling what we have buried is the journey. I am finding that to get in touch with the “true self”, one has to look WAY outside the box, contemplate everything. This day and age of humankind on Earth, the higher energies are calling us to take a bigger look. Our story is our responsibility. When I want more answers and ask for it, the teacher usually shows up in impeccable timing.
We are all first children of light and love–even the “bad guys”; some of us have just forgotten more than others and have fallen way down. Each of us is at a different stage on our journey’s path–some have to suffer to learn, some don’t. We are all mixed-up together on our different paths–a real test of our tolerance! We wonder why people suffer, but we also are not so commonly taught to understand the bigger picture of that particular soul’s journey and lessons in their blueprint. When we assist others who are suffering with love, we also assist in raising them higher in their journey back to the light.

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