“Often it is the
ordinary…in life’s experience that combines with an unusually sensitive
temperament…to produce a heightened sense of awareness.” –Kay Jamison, Ph.D, Professor of
Psychiatry, Johns Hopkins University School Medicine

             Nothing is ordinary except "but thinking makes it so."        

             Recently,
I watched a replay of one of our age-old human struggles in microcosm. It was an
“ordinary life experience” if ever there was one.

             My two-year old grandson had
something his five-year old sister wanted. She asked for it, he declined. You know what happens next in these kinds of encounters. 

             Look at some of her choices in this ordinary situation: 1) She could grab
it, 2) She could ask a parent to intervene, 3) She could negotiate, 4) She could
divert him and swipe it, 5) She could wait until he was tired of it and move
in, or 6) She could decide his happiness was important, let him keep it, and
help him enjoy it.

             Nearly three, he is old enough
to know that he has the same set of choices in reverse. As a little brother, I
learned the younger one has his own kind of leverage.            

             How many times have you been in this situation across your life? How
many times will you engage these kinds of transactions today?

             Is this childhood conflict different
from the drama played out among world leaders every day? When Palestine and
Israel or the United States and North Korea disagree, how do their kinds of
options differ from the ones available to my grandchildren?

             Perhaps the contrast is only one of degree.

             Transactional thinking pervades our lives. Every adult knows the Golden
Rule. Unfortunately, we’ve all heard the trite takeoff on it: “He who has the
gold rules.”

             The world
teaches us to take. Love teaches us to give.

             It’s remarkable how early we learn
to view the world as a set of transactions. “I will do this for you if (and
only if) you do this for me.”

             If I do something for you, I expect
you to thank me. If you don’t I may be angry and decide to dislike you.

              Not everyone “gets” the idea of Radical Loving Care. Everyone knows the
Golden Rule.

             Radical Loving Care is Golden Rule Care.

             The two biggest things leaders can do to
grow Love’s energy are: 1) Create cultures where loving care is common and
expected, and 2) Show caregivers why living love is in their best interest.

             Here’s your reason to live Love – In the long run, you feel better when you
give Love rather than when you take from someone else what you want.

             It sounds like something we might preach to our children. What if we
tried it ourselves?

-Erie Chapman