Days 263-264 Wholeheartedly

Recently, a colleague confided in me that he was struggling
with emotion, as he anticipated his first born son leaving home for college. “But
I keep reminding myself that I can choose my attitude”, he said. Rather than denying his feelings of sadness, I could not help but inquire. What if he acknowledged and honored his discomfort might this be another way to move through the experience of this major
threshold crossing.

As we conversed, it seemed apparent that he was trying to be
strong for the sake of his son. He wondered what his son might be feeling. Perhaps anxiety about leaving home, mixed with excitement, anticipation and
anxiety. “But I keep reminding myself that I can choose my attitude.” What if your son knew that you were feeling sad
and excited for him, I asked? Perhaps, that would give him permission to
express his feelings too about this sacred time of leave taking and new beginnings.

Personally, I sometimes struggle with these two opposing
philosophies. One school of thought is
to think positive thoughts and to surround yourself with positive people and avoid negativity. The "Course in Miracles" instructs that only
loving thoughts are real. Everything else is illusion. On one level, I embrace
this premise wholeheartedly; for the only truth I know is Love.

Yet, there is another reality that rings true as well. This
comes from the lived experience that life encompasses light and darkness, joy
and suffering; polarities of two opposing parts that together create a whole. One cannot
exist without the other. When we avoid,
deny or stuff down feelings, what is the consequence?

I believe that our best chance for healing, transformation
and love is to acknowledge the hidden, discarded, vulnerable parts of ourselves
with loving kindness. This sounds easy enough but much harder to actualize. I do not know
if my response to my colleague's dilemma was helpful or not.

The only truth I know is Love.

~Liz Sorensen Wessel

Mandala by ~liz

Published by

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Categories: Reflections, Holidays, Spirituality

Tags: Erie Chapman Foundation, Journal of Sacred Work, Liz sorensen Wessel, Radical Loving Care

8 responses to “Days 263-264 Wholeheartedly”

Erie Chapman Foundation

September 21, 2013 at 10:49 am

Your mandala accompanies an equally beautiful expression of a central life idea, LIz. Your wisdom on this touches the profound notion that it may be a mistake to try to steer around pain instead of embracing its hard-won teaching. I like your advice to your friend and hope he follows it. His son will always be grateful. Too often father’s are unwilling to show vulnerability not understanding that sons are often grateful. I hope the attitude your friend “chooses” is to share his feelings with his son.

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Woody Wessel

September 21, 2013 at 11:19 am

I would ask my friend to try to look at it from his sons point of view,to think back and how it was when he was that age. That time of life when things are new and exciting yet a litte scary too. I’d tell him to be proud,he did his job he raised a man.

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bg

September 21, 2013 at 12:20 pm

Another good one Lizzy!

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Maureen McDermott

September 21, 2013 at 5:39 pm

Liz, your mandala has captured me! To sit here, gaze upon it and allow it to touch me, what a gift. Thank you.
As for the father how wonderful to read how he was in touch with his feelings and willing to share his reflections as well as his concerns! What a journey both children and parents make as life places before us different moments of transition. May their journey gift them with deeper love, respect and trust.
And of course the only truth is Love.

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Erie Chapman Foundation

September 21, 2013 at 8:59 pm

I agree with Sister Maureen. Your mandala is fascinating, beautiful and transfixing.

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Cheri Cancelliere

September 22, 2013 at 11:16 am

What a gorgeous mandala…like stained glass with shimmering light within. Henri Nouwen often spoke of the existential spiritual polarities that we neglect to our own detriment. There is beautiful freedom in acceptance…seeing the reality of strength in weakness, joy in sorrow, abundant riches in poverty, and as St. Francis so wisely summed up, “It is in dying that we are born again.” Jesus told his followers bluntly, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Almost every place that the Bible mentions suffering, it is paired with joy. Being open, honest and vulnerable opens the door of our hearts to others and invites them into our embrace. Those we are closest to are not only those we have shared the good and positive times with, but those who have continued to love in the dark night of the soul we will each surely have. The joy we have from an intimate relationship with God and others flows from sharing both our heights and depths. The life of Jesus invites such depth of honesty.

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Margot

September 22, 2013 at 6:48 pm

Lovely radiant art Liz – I agree with you, Light and Dark are both present on this earth plane. Bringing shadow out into the light is the work of being a conscious human. I spent the day with Sobonfu Some (an African teacher) yesterday at a community grief ritual – it was a retreat to allow us to process grief with our community. Very moving and powerful – and I saw and heard a lot of pain and darkness in that room, safely contained in a ring of candles and sacred drumming, the light surrounded the dark, and by letting our pain out, we were cleansed of it. Very wonderful work. Love is what is left over once you heal all the pain.

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~liz Wessel

September 22, 2013 at 7:28 pm

I thank each of you, Erie, Woody, Suan, Sister Maureen, Cheri and Margot, for the blessings you so generously bestowed in your response to me and to one another. Deepest thanks for sharing your gift of Love, which I receive and return to you, wholeheartedly!

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