I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.  

–Robert Frost

As we awaken from our slumber into the mystery of a new day, perhaps we offer up a little prayer. "May I do some good today, may how I show up for others be life affirming, may I make a difference."

Rising up from the warmth of our beds we begin preparations for this day. We are all caregivers one to another in some way. If, you are a parent, you are probably bustling about to help your children get ready for school. As a caregiver for an aging parent or an ill family member you too are living your loved one illness. Maybe as you head off to work you begin to feel a tightening in your body as you contemplate the difficult challenges that await you. Perhaps, you are at a point in life where you are gifting yourself with better self-care.

Each of us will be confronted with varying levels of stress throughout our day. How we respond can make all the difference. Yet, how easy some unexpected happenstance can jolt us off our planned course, in a flash, we can lose perspective, react with impatience, frustration, or even lose our cool. If the encounter with another does not go well it is like a boomerang returning to us with a lingering negativity, stress or regret. Life’s curves catch us off guard, diminishing our sense of safety. Instantly our body reacts before we fully understand what is occurring because our rational thought fails to kick-in.

Yet, there is another way. In Man’s Search for Meaning, psychologist and holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl reveals an illuminating truth,” Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”  

In that space…we can begin to notice how our body reacts. What is happening? Are you feeling flushed; is your heart beginning to race, is there tension in your stomach? Perhaps, by just repeating back what you heard the other person say will create space for him or her to clarify their point of view. This may allow enough time for the blood to flow back to your brain and clear thinking to return.

You might be thinking, all this sounds good but these unexpected encounters unfold as quickly as a bolt of lightning strikes. It is not that I am good at this, it is more that I aspire to have healthy, caring relationships with my fellow sojourners. True, it is not easy, it takes courage, commitment, and a personal intention to grow and change.

To strengthen your resolve, remember your north star; your compass and consider what gives purpose and meaning to your life and relationships. This intention can shift our focus from a need to win or to be one man up in any conflict, to seeking common ground and the greater good in each other and in every circumstance.

Challenging situations are our teachers. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche shares this metaphor, It’s like riding a horse when a bump in the road jostles us; we lose our balance and it wakes us up as we right ourselves again. Life’s little annoyances are a disguised blessing because they have the power to shake us from complacency to choose our path and our freedom, which can make all the difference.

 Liz  Sorensen Wessel

Photo by my talented niece, Lisa Gayle