American flag - 4F    After each of my children graduated high school as both valedictorians & Student Body Presidents a friend said, "You must be so proud." Of course, I was.

   But another friend said, "Maybe the better word is grateful."

   He's right. Tethered to the earth we struggle to express ourselves with the best words we can find.

   What happens to your energy when you speak gratitude instead of pride? What happens when you hear a doctor or nurse say they are proud one of their patients was cured rather then grateful for a good outcome? 

   We stack wood for our fireplace. Why do we fly the flag? 

   We are encouraged to say we are "proud of our country," or "proud of our hospital" or "proud of our team."

   Even the Bible cautions that "Pride goeth before a fall." So why not simply express gratitude?  Why trumpet a pride that could lead to arrogance? "We are the greatest," some of our leaders shout. Does this generate condescension towards non-Americans?    

   Many Patriots fans have already said, "I am proud of my team." But what did they do beyond shouting from the couch?    

   It is twenty-seven years since my friend challenged me to express gratitude instead of pride. That one comment changed my life – & hopefully yours.  

-Erie Chapman

Photograph by Erie 

4 responses to “Days 37-41 Gratitude or Pride?”

  1. Terry Chapman Avatar
    Terry Chapman

    I just saw this second post on gratitude and am still reflecting on both. I find that the more I give thanks and show my gratitude in my actions, the higher my spiritual “comfort”.
    Little tasks and irritations become, in some instances, a moment for giving thanks, even when it isn’t your best day. Like other times when you truly consider the status of things, beyond yourself, who knows what you might think to do that you could do, and that would help others? And, please, don’t forget to do it with a smile!!

    Like

  2. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    I like this. As we shift our awareness ever so slightly and allow gratitude to enfold within us, the things around us begin to take on new meaning. Thank you for sharing.

    Like

  3. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    This is an important and equally helpful reframe Erie; one that I am abundantly grateful to receive. Thanks for your in-sights that are life changing for those who slow down to listen with love.

    Like

  4. Todd Meador Avatar
    Todd Meador

    Interesting way to look at it.
    Many people use the words “I am proud of you” as a way to compliment the other party, but it is still about the speaker, the “I”, and that the “I” is proud. And you mention being proud can be a slippery slope even if used as a compliment.
    For some reason it does not seem like as big of a compliment to the other person to tell them “I am grateful for you”. I am still thinking on this…
    Thanks for sharing the post Erie!

    Like

Leave a reply to Lynn Cancel reply