My Saturday golf partner was a gastroenterologist on call. After the third phone interruption he showed his exasperation by mocking his patient, "Doctor, my belly hurts," he said sarcastically. Thirty years in practice have worn him down. Tia photo of caregiving (1)   

   Caregiving is a matter of soul as well as body. 

   "There are only four kinds of people in the world," Rosalyn Carter wrote – "those who have been caregivers, those who currently are caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers."

   We are all caregivers or in need of one – or, importantly, both.

   When the body breaks it seeks repair. We want caregivers to fix what is broken. But, when caregivers limit their role to "fixing" they become mechanics. 

   Radical Loving Care, Good Samaritan care, offers more. You can see it in the face of the nurse. Her warmth is as important to her elderly patient as what runs through his IVs.

   The best caregivers know that illness shakes a patient's spirit. But, who cares for the caregiver's soul?

   Where attention goes, energy flows. Mountains of literature address caregiving. Precious little is written about caretaking the critical need to care for our caregiver's souls, to comfort them, to teach self-comforting, to tend to the exhaustion that can sap their heart's best energy.

   The caregiver's soul is watered by the wellspring of purpose. Repetition & fatigue can taint that water. 

   When the patient says, "Doctor, my belly hurts," that patient is also saying, "Doctor, my soul hurts. I want healing." When the doctor mocks that, he needs healing as well. He needs soul-support & the chance to rediscover the deep meaning of his mission. 

-Erie Chapman

Photograph of caregiving by Tia Ann Chapman, Hartford Courant

 

4 responses to “Days 215-219 – Caring for the Caregiver’s Soul”

  1. Terry Chapman Avatar
    Terry Chapman

    Point well taken! Over the years, I have certainly been both caregiver and often the grateful receiver. In my VA hospital work as a director of volunteers,I saw many marvelously caring practitioners of medicine, and yes, a few, who were not in the appropriate career.
    I also found, in my family life, and also as a teacher, management trainer,career counselor, and friend,that, when I grew physically and mentally tired, my caring lacked authenticity.
    The solution? I gave myself some “cocooning” time to re-grow compassion and warmth. This included, prayer, physical rest, fly fishing, golfing, down time away from family, and on several occasions, receiving counseling myself.
    The result was a “re-created” me, one who could give fully of time, attention, and self, with a smile on my face, and a lilt in my heart!

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  2. Chapman Health International Avatar

    Superb point, Terry. Caregivers would do well to note your suggestion. Compliments on your wisdom in discovering what you needed. We can’t take care of others unless we first take care of ourselves.

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  3. Todd Meador Avatar
    Todd Meador

    I love the Radical Loving Care principle that one of the jobs of leaders is to take care of the people who take care of people.
    In addition to that powerful concept over the past few months I have really been thinking about the concept of “where attention goes, energy flows”. Just recently read about it in relation to quantum physics. In quantum physics, the observer effect states that where you direct your attention is where you place your energy.
    I choose to focus my energy on compassion, love and healing and make sure to “take care of the people who take care of people”.

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  4. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Thank you for this beautiful reflection, Erie that is so needed in the current climate of healthcare and as you say the critical need to care for the soul of our caregivers. I love R. Cater’s perspective on the 4 types of caregivers, so true!
    I appreciate Terry’s comment well regarding burnout and our level of authenticity and Todd’s integration of your teachings on RLC into his choice to “live love”.
    I plan to share your reflection tomorrow with my colleagues in mission Integration as they seek ways to support physician caregivers and minister to their spirits.

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