Days 244-248 – A Life & Death Hypothetical

In public speeches & private conversations over twenty years I have often suggested a hypothetical: If an angel descended to offer you perfect health to age 80 & a peaceful death on your eightieth birthday would you take the deal?

Lucky that my always-healthy 105 year old mother did not. She was eighty twenty-five years ago! But most audiences under 65 snap it up instantly!

This game can help us highlight what matters to us. Caregivers, including a critical care doctor & nurse anesthetist I spoke with recently, have seen too much pain in other's lives to want to risk more in their own.

They & other caregivers are drenched in other's sicknesses every day. The prospect of perfect health & a peaceful death is more tempting then longevity.

Beyond pain most people fear the loss of control & the anxiety they see in the faces of nursing home inmates & chronically ill hospital patients. Have you ever met someone who says, "I'd prefer to die on a ventilator surrounded by strangers or wandering confused down a linoleum hallway."

It is because no angel can deliver my deal that Radical Loving Care is so desperately important. No caregiver can guarantee good health. But they can offer the healing presence that eases loneliness & fear.

-Erie Chapman

"Angel Descending Through Water & Fire." (Photoart Montage by Erie, 2017.)

Published by

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Categories: Reflections, Holidays, Spirituality

Tags: angels, caregivers, Erie Chapman Foundation, hospitals, nursing homes, Radical Loving Care

12 responses to “Days 244-248 – A Life & Death Hypothetical”

Teresa Reynolds

August 28, 2017 at 5:51 am

Your photograph conjures a constellation of feelings on the glory side of pedestrian experience. By offering this image, it invites a reimagining of Radical Loving Care.

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Terry Chapman

August 28, 2017 at 10:16 am

I would not accept the offer, as I place a high value on adventure and though the unknown could become the painful present; still, I walk forward, seizing every opportunity for manageable adventure and life.
Usually my adventures are worthwhile, occasionally emotionally charged, and rarely mountain top experiences, hah! Though this could change as I am almost 77 now, and vulnerable with my peers in that age group, I am at best, and always will be, an optimistic guy; thank you Lord!

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Barb

August 28, 2017 at 12:33 pm

If an angel appeared in front of me, I would have a heart attack on the spot and never get to the question of accepting an offer. (That whole”Fear not, i come with tidings blah blah blah wold drop me down!) However if I could get past the fear I would absolutely accept the offer. I’d love to live till 80 without any health issues! … having lived with some health issues now for 10th +years. By 80 I would have lived my life well,reached my goals, seen my children grow, see through their lives himan progress, met some grandchildren perhaps and I’d be satisfied at 80 to meet my God.

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sbeng

August 28, 2017 at 3:30 pm

As a previous Hospice Nurse I would gladly accept the length of days that is granted me. I would accept from the Lord the length of days He gives me to spend my time on this earth and eventually take me home. His grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in weakness. May the Lord bless each one of us as we continue to live our lives on this earth until the day He want to take us home to be with him eternally.

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Todd Meador

August 28, 2017 at 4:35 pm

“Beyond pain most people fear the loss of control & the anxiety they see in the faces of nursing home inmates & chronically ill hospital patients.”
This is thought provoking.

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knowlesbagwell@bellsouth.net

August 28, 2017 at 6:45 pm

I love this question. It is such a clever way to begin conversation with folks about their hopes, fears and what matters most to them
.

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~liz Wessel

August 29, 2017 at 8:14 am

I appreciate your thought provoking essay, Erie.I can relate to the doctor and nurse who would choose quality over quantity. Being present with another in their suffering is entering into sacred territory. We are the student, the teacher the healer the one being healed. We learn courage as we receive it. I don’t think I would choose (and I guess that is a choice). Instead I hope that whatever my circumstance, I pray that it will serve my awakening and capacity to love more freely.
Your photographic art is an essay in itself, ethereal, truly majestic for an angel did descend…

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erie chapman

August 29, 2017 at 2:17 pm

Thanks so much for posting this comment, Tom. Yes, it is an excellent conversation beginner. Meanwhile, would you take the deal?:-)

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erie chapman

August 29, 2017 at 2:18 pm

Lovely comment, Suan. Thank you.

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erie chapman

August 29, 2017 at 2:19 pm

What a wonderful comment and response, Barb. Thank you. And may you reach all the goals you have set:-)

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erie chapman

August 29, 2017 at 2:20 pm

Thank you for your direct and honest answer, Terry. Yes. Your optimism has served you so well in your already long life. Would you answer change if the age was extended? 85, 90?…

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erie chapman

August 29, 2017 at 2:22 pm

Thank you so much, Liz. Yes. Because of you open heart each day is a true awakening. This world needs YOU as long as possible.
Thank you so much for you comment on my photograph. Am seeking to fine new and sometimes more provocative territory for photographic and film expression. It’s increasingly lonely territory and I am grateful for your company.

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