Two Stunning Stories

Stories that are shocking elsewhere are so commonplace in hospitals that their meaning is often lost. I re-raise the stories below as remarkable examples of two different kinds of courage. Some I witnessed during my career-long practice as CEO at three different hospitals of supporting first line caregivers by working side-by-side with them.

I. Everyday Bravery

For example, one day I was permitted to attend a patient’s delivery. Afterwards, I stood admiring everyone in the room. What a gift to lead a place where sacred work is continuous.

As I was leaving, a housekeeper wielding a mop, pail and devilish smile approached: “Wanna help with this part,” she chuckled as she headed in to clean up the afterbirth.

That day I relearned that it takes as much courage to clean up afterbirth every day as it does to deliver a baby. But we cannot get this truth unless we observe with sacred eyes and listen well to caregiver’s stories.

II. Three Shocks in One Shift

Neonatologist Elizabeth Krueger eloquently describes three astounding events in one 24-hour shift (abbreviated from Radical Loving Care.)

“I arrive at the hospital to be on call for the next twenty-four hours. It is four days before Christmas. I will eat, sleep, and live in this very unusual mini-world… I will not relax. …The day before…I had counseled a young couple getting ready to deliver…twenty-four-week twins… I told them that if all went well, we would become like family. The delivery went great … I was full of hope…

“[Today] my partner is telling me that a ‘code’ has just ended. It is not on the infants, but on their mother. She stood up in her hospital room to come visit her babies and she just died. She was thirty. I walk into the nursery. Everyone is in tears…

“At about six that evening…the phone rings. ‘They need you STAT’ I…arrive to find a vigorous, crying infant with a horrendous birth defect. From the anus to the umbilicus, the internal organs are inside out…So I whisk away their little one, leaving them in their horror. ..After we medically stabilize this infant I return to the shattered parents…We spend some time talking about their future…

“About midnight a nurse tells me there is a new baby in normal nursery with Down syndrome. I have dealt with this many times, but I know the parents have not…

“I go out to the room of this couple that I have never seen before and will never see again, and I [earthquake] their world. I sit for a long time, just watching them absorb the enormity of what has happened… I cannot just state the facts and depart. I try…to be present and calm. I stay to answer the questions. They do not need to be alone…

“I leave much later. I feel like kicking a hole in the wall. I overhear the nurses at the station being critical of me. “You’d think the neonatologist would go talk to them.” They do not know I have been in the room with them for the last hour. It is 2 A.M. I try to sleep but can’t. …

“I get home to find my house a sweet mess with teenagers moved back in for Christmas. We decorate the tree. I am drained. I spend a lot of the afternoon under a blanket on the couch. I wish I were a better mother. My kids, unfortunately, are used to this.”

The strength to clean up after birth. Every day.

The bravery to deal with triple tragedies in one shift.

Rare courage elsewhere in life. Common for caregivers.

-Erie Chapman

Featured Image: Dr. Elizabeth Krueger, M.D.